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Short stories.

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I used to work in call centres when I lived overseas. It’s been about six years since I’ve worked in a call centre. Just little things this sub reminded me of, just little moments of my coworkers and I winning or losing.

I fondly remember one of my coworkers always returning to a call on hold and saying, “Thank you for holding me.”

Another person at another job was reading an article on snoring when a call dropped in and she answered, “Hello, you’re sleeping with Shannon!”

One caller was very angry to get me on the phone one day, as I have a Canadian accent and I was living and working in Australia. She told me to “learn how to speak fkn English!” And I could only think to say, “My country was colonized and forced to learn English before yours.” – it felt like a weird flex.

My favourite short story is when someone told me to go Fk myself and I said, “No, I’m good.” And continued trying to help him.

A creeper once said I had an erotic, exotic, intoxicating voice and I should join him for a night of passion in Sydney. I told him my husband might not like that. He said my husband come could watch. (Now that I’m older I’m thinkin I should have asked for money to go to Sydney.)

Last one was a doozy Cos I wanted to press charges but my bosses didnt pursue with me even though they said they would. caller threatened to find out where I live, do something vile to me, and burn my house down. He threatened my kids- I don’t have any, but some awful things were said.

Okay okay I can’t leave it on that note.

In the lunch room at my first call centre job they played Firework by Katy Perry on repeat for 6 months.

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My hackers are mad at me because I busted their lab!

Hey you guys, gonna start a new job at Conduent soon. Any tips?