Can’t do it anymore

I’ve been working at a major bank for about a little over a year. It’s a work from home job and only my second call center job. I can honestly say that this is the first time in my life that a job has caused me so much emotional and physical exhaustion.

About 3 months ago I had a complete mental breakdown. The constant phone calls, short staffed, push for OT, micromanagement, unrealistic QA guidelines… I just can’t do it anymore.

I was out on leave came back and was extremely triggered and had a panic attack. I had to call my therapist for an emergency session bc I couldn’t calm down. Since this job, ive had to go on SSRIs. This job started affecting my relationship so much so that I couldn’t see how much I had changed and was neglecting my partner of ten years. Current manager is a nightmare and does not have a single ounce of empathy. I’m treated like a number. I’m very much aware of how expendable I am. Everything is over the computer/phone. No idea what some of my coworkers look like as we don’t do zoom. I’m literally just an icon and a set of letters.

I can’t bring myself to go back. I don’t want to. I can’t do it. I’d rather do literally anything else. Not to mention they decided to postpone our raise that we were supposed to get 3 months ago…. So what’s the point.

What’s the point. I have to work every major holiday and not get the luxury to spend time with my family… how fucked up is it that spending time with family on a holiday is considered a LUXURY.

I can’t do it.

What do you think?

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