>[ for obvious reasons, any names of locations, businesses, or people are all made up ]
me- Hello thank you for calling the  firm how can I help you?
caller- Hello, I called a few days ago but your receptionists couldn’t find my information no matter how many times I asked and I really need help, can you tell me who my attorney is?
*me finding his information from his phone number in our system in like 2 seconds*
me- Yes sir I have your information right here and it is in pending status, so you don’t have an attorney yet and you’ll likely need to wait until someone can contact you back to find out more. Would you like for me to send and email letting them know that you called?
The caller then proceeds to tell me all the information in his intake, and that the reason he’s contacting attorneys is because he believes that there are 15 tiny miniature people being ring led by his apartment complex managers to break into his apartment and steal things from his pockets, and they are all in cahoots with the police because the 911 operator put a temporary block on his phone number. He also branched off into another story about how a young person who looks just like him is driving around town using his driver’s license
And I spent the next 10-15 minutes trying to calmly explain to him that he didn’t need to call us every day like he said he planned to because someone would call him back soon
Welcome to the stories I hear in the evenings and on the weekends working at the bottom rung of the call center for a law firm
[I say bottom rung, because the call center reps above me are the ones who filter through what I intake, I don’t reject anyone, I make an intake for anything that is coherent enough to be typed, then the reps above me reject anything thats obviously not a case like crazy people, statue of limitations, or obvious grasping at straws, then the reps above them apply finer criteria, so on and so forth]
I might write more of these, my friends are tired of hearing me tell call center stories but I really like to share the funny ones