dAtA pRiVaCy LaWyEr


This is another case of a chat support technical assistance being unnecessarily dragged on & turned into a hostile conversation.

They kept getting a message that their memory is low. (9/10 of the time this is a virus and not an actual performance issue.)

I had them install Malwarebytes (it’s the only 3rd party app we can recommend) to check for viruses. Then, they brought up possible phishing:

> Me: Have you observed any other behavior that would suggest it’s phishing?

> Cx: One is enough.

Confusing response, but I guess that’s a “no”.

> Me: You wouldn’t happen to have clicked any suspicious messages through text, email, or gave any personal info to suspicious parties through calls? Installed any suspicious apps?

> Cx: Yes to all. I installed Sophos. I’m a data privacy lawyer.

Again, confusing… So, did they mean, “yes, I have clicked” or “yes, I have not clicked”? In retrospect I probably should’ve just clarified.

> Me: We shouldn’t install apps from unknown sources. Better to get it from our store or the app dev’s website.

> Cx: I got it from the website.

Yeah, ok, they’re a joy to speak with. Everything’s a riddle response.

> Cx: Are you a bot?

Here we go.

> Me: … no, why would you think that?

> Cx: Semantics are tough for computers.

> Me: I’m aware of your job, but I must still ask you these basic inquiries to leave no stones unturned and nothing is overlooked. If that’s what you’re getting at.

> Cx: Ok.

Later, they asked why we aren’t checking memory/storage space, etc. They have about 40 GB left so that’s fine for now. I positioned let’s eliminate possibility of malwares first before doing anything and shared 9/10 of my chats about such concerns are just caused by viruses.

We managed to agree on what to do (though I smell a DSAT from this pompous fuck). I asked if I could help with anything else. The response:

> Cx: You are free to go. Thank you.

Bitch? “You are free to go.” Really? I’m not your slave. No, YOU are free to go. You sought us out. You can show your entitled ass out.


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I Don’t Remember the Rest

Someone just lets me do my work?