The ATM ate my card, I demand to know why

About ten years ago, I was working in a credit union call center, and someone called in saying the ATM ate his card. I don’t think he could get the card back because he was using an ATM that wasn’t one of the credit union’s. He insisted that the ATM eating his card could NOT be a random error (or *cough* him waiting too long to take it out *cough*) and demanded a detailed explanation of what was wrong with his account. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: I want to know why the ATM took my card.

Me: I apologize, sir, that just happens sometimes. The ATM might have timed out. I’ll order you a new card and it will arrive in 7-10 business days.

Him: No, that’s not good enough. There was a reason the ATM took my card. I need to know what’s wrong with my account.

Me: ATM’s don’t take your card because there’s something wrong with your account, it just happens sometimes.

Him: I want to speak to the card department.

Me: The card department doesn’t speak to customers directly, but I’d be happy to call them for you. *Places caller on brief hold and calls the card department*

Card department: Um, yeah, there’s nothing wrong with his account, the ATM just ate his card.

Me: Sir, the card department has confirmed there’s nothing wrong with your account, it was just a fluke with the ATM.

Him: *speaking in low tones with the wrath of Satan* That’s. The. Wrong. Answer.

Me: I’m sorry, sir, there’s nothing else I can do for you right now. Your new card has been ordered and you will have it in 7-10 business days.

I’m sure this conversation went on even longer. He simply would not accept any explanation.

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