Let me passive aggressively insult you so you’ll give me what I want

So, I work for a live theater in NYC and anything you’re imagining about us losing money, you are correct. I’m not sure how long I’ll have hours until we have to stop before the company goes bankrupt so I’m already stressed and pissed. And then I have dumbasses passive aggressively insulting the theater through me just because we didn’t IMMEDIATELY refund them when we cancelled shows and instead placed the funds on their accounts and reached out to let them know they have options. Also, we are a non-profit. Just keep that in mind for this call that really ticked me off:

Me: Thank you for calling __________. How can I help you?

Customer: Hi. Yeah. I purchased tickets to _______, which has been cancelled and I got that email about crediting my account. Yeah. I emailed back, asking for a refund and specifically told you guys to email me back confirming that your received my email and is working on my refund. It’s been a few days and nothing. I got nothing from you guys.

(Long pause)

Me: Are you still interested in the refund? (Pulled up her email from caller ID)

Customer: Um. Yeah. I’m still interested in my refund. I need to make sure you guys don’t try to turn that into a donation for your theayer. Because I am absolutely not interested in that. I want my refund. It was a total of $75.00 and I want ALL $75 refunded to my American Express card. The one I used. All of it. Now.

Me: (ready to reach into the screen like The Ring girl) sure. Give me one moment while I process that for you.

Customer: Times like these, I need to be careful you know? I heard that a lot of people’s credit cards are being hacked and I need to make sure that doesn’t happen to me. It’s very important. So, yeah, the full refund is needed. And make sure you respond to my email with the email confirmation for my refund so I have a record of it. That way when I don’t see it, I can call back with the confirmation number.

Me: mmhmm (busy processing the refund)

Customer: I’m sure you’re stressed but the lack of communication from you guys is concerning. If I didn’t call today, what would you have done with my money?

Me: (not responding because I thought she was just talking nonsense)

Customer: Hello? Hello?

Me: I’m still here ma’am. I’m processing your refund. It takes a bit longer because I’m working remotely.

Customer. Oh. Well, make sure I get the full refund.

Me: Alright. It has gone through on our end, you should see it on your statements within 7 to 10 days.

Customer: It usually shows up faster than that.

Me: Well, the credit card companies are a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

Customer: Oh. I know. Anyway, thanks. Bye. (Hangs up)

I hate to imagine her calling AmEx and harassing a poor caller center agent over her stupid $75.

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