Took credit customer service calls for a big box retailer.
One account.. A unicorn. We’d heard tales. We’d all looked up the account to read the notes:
Customer is a male Customer has exceeded their courtesy fee waivers Do not waive fees. Permission to terminate call.
Then the phone rang. I knew the name the moment it popped:
Eugene. I got Eugene. And it was everything
Eugene buys batteries and underwear then returns the underwear. Doesn’t pay for the batteries and now he has late fees.
Eugene was an underwater Julia Child. I turned my volume down at least twenty times during the call. When his late fee waiver was declined I get:
LIAR LOAD YOU DON’T OWN BIG BOX RETAILER. I NEED A MAN-A-GER
I tell Eugene that we’re not entertaining escalating or engaging today. I thank him for his call and disconnect.
God bless Eugene.