One from 2018 for the last day of 2019

Last year, I worked in the hellhole that was an insurance call center, and now as I sit and reflect on my life over the past year, and how little progress I’ve made in my life since the year prior, I’m reminded of one of my many ridiculous stories about a ridiculous person saying ridiculous things.

Because of a flaw in our horribly outdated computer system, when a policy was about to renew, credit cards that were updated manually had to be entered in twice, once in the active policy year and once in the upcoming policy year. Super annoying, super easy to forget to do both.

So this old asshat (OA) calls in, wondering why he got an overdue payment notice when he’d just recently called to update his card.

Me: (intro, etc.)

OA: (tells me his problem and shit)

Me: Ah okay, it looks like this was just an error. I’m really sorry for the confusion and for you having to call back in, but all I have to do is re-enter your credit card, process the payment, and you’ll be all set.

Typically I avoided going into detail about how shit our system was, and usually “computer error” or “mistake” was enough for most people. Sadly, OA was not most people.

OA: What do you mean it was an “error”? What happened?

Me: Well, when you called in to update your card, you still had one more payment due for your previous policy year, and your policy was about to renew. When that’s the case, we have to enter the credit card info twice – once in the current policy year, and once in the new policy year, for the system to be able to process payments in both years.

OA: So what you’re telling me is that the guy I spoke to last time screwed up, because NONE OF YOUR EMPLOYEES EVER KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING WHEN I SPEAK WITH THEM.

Me: ….I’m really sorry, I’m sure it was just a simple mistake-


Me: ……I’d be happy to-


Me: Sir, I’m very sorry for the mistake. I can easily enter your credit card information right now, and have this taken care of. There are no late fees or penalties for the overdue payment.

OA: Kapoluy, you aren’t helping me at all.

First of all, I hate when people continuously use my name. Second, at this point I was sure I either was being pranked, and this guy was about to go “hahaha just kidding, got ya! Here’s my card number” or that I had some secret shopper customer who was trying to test me by being as difficult as possible. Joke’s on them, I don’t have that much patience or care that much about my job.

Me: I’m trying to help you. It will take me literally 30 seconds to enter your credit card information, if you would give me that information.

OA: That’s not the point, Kapoluy. The point is that one of YOUR PEOPLE screwed up, and now I have to call in and fix their mistake!

Me: And I’m sorry about that, but I can’t change what happened in the past, so the only way for me to fix this is to enter your credit card information.

OA: No. That isn’t good enough.

Me: Then if you don’t want to provide your card information, what would you like me to do for you?

OA: You aren’t helping me. Transfer me to your supervisor.

Me: (checks agent log, 3 sups are available) There isn’t a supervisor available right now.

OA: What do you mean there isn’t one available?

Me: They’re all on phone calls.

OA: I highly doubt that they’re all on phone calls when I need a supervisor. See, you just don’t want to help me. How could they all be on the phone right now?

Me: Well, this is a call center, sir.

OA: (hangs up, praise the lord)

Anyway, he called back and got some spineless new person who transferred him to a supervisor immediately 🤷‍♀️ I tried.

Happy new year, here’s wishing you all find new, better jobs!

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