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How to Wear an Ankle Bracelet

Years ago I worked in a call center for a jewelry company. It was a good job most days, and a great mix of people to work with. But we had a few strange calls.

The caller who got each of us at least once (up to 50 of us working at any one time, depending on call times) was the Ankle Bracelet Guy. Every weekend he would call and ask strange/inappropriate questions. I got him 3 times with the same question. He said he was having to dress in drag for some reason and he had a few questions about how women get dressed. Did I know if it was usual to wear an ankle bracelet under pantyhose or over pantyhose? The first time I gave a serious answer. Then he wanted to know about tampons. Did women take their underwear off to put them in, or just pull the underwear down to put them in? I told him that I did not feel comfortable answering that, and he should ask the women in his life about that. I got major points from Quality Control when they reviewed that call. I stayed professional, took the questions seriously and I didn’t get flustered (I had a gifted toddler who learned to read at 3years an 1 month old – I was used to really strange questions because toddlers just are NOT equipped to understand all that can be read!)

The next time the Ankle Bracelet Guy called, he asked the Ankle Bracelet questions again. Then he wanted to know if women put their hair up to wear wigs or if they shaved it all off. I had to say that I had no answers for him as I don’t wear wigs. I did put him on hold and ask a coworker who wore wigs about his question. She rolled her eyes and said that he asked her that question a few months before. She told him that of course you don’t shave all your hair off to wear a wig. That would be silly. So I told him that most women who wear wigs only wear them occasionally, so they don’t shave their hair off. But don’t take my word for it. If he really wanted to know, he should call some salons and ask them as they would have far more information. And did he want a deal on a blue topaz and diamond earring and necklace set? I actually got him to buy 2 or 3 things. I got an award for getting him to buy things – he had been calling for close to a year by then and had never bought anything.

Most of my coworkers blew him off or gave him ridiculous answers (like women only shave the top of their hair off, not all of it if they are going to wear a wig. One college girl told him to save used tampons in a bag and give them to his dog as a treat (Yuck!). Mostly people used him as an excuse to waste time, but I treated him as a human with questions, just like my toddler.

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But I’ve already told my friends I’d booked that time!

"This is a waste of time and don’t interrupt me."