OP Note: I work for a call center, where pretty much 95% of the calls are all EC’s are just…headaches.
This guy was one of them, only he was a lot worse.
Me: thank you for choosing (name of business), how may I help you?
EC: I wanna know why the f**k you say I owe almost $400! (bill was $360.62) Also, I’m closing my account.
Me: Of course, sir. Allow me a moment to get that information. (cue OP looking at past payment history) Okay Mr. EC, I see here the last payment as a check we had received from you was back in early September. Since you had gotten multiple deliveries since then, including a late fee for being past due, your balance–
(this is when EC starts trying to insult my intelligence)
EC: talks slowly YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU LITTLE SH*T. I AM NOT PAYING FOR THAT LATE FEE. CAN YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD OR NO?!
Me: I understand your frustration, sir. If we are able to take the payment of 340.62, I can go ahead and waive that late fee for you.
EC: What?! Only $20?! What else can you do for me???
Me: Unfortunately, there is nothing else I can do since that was the only late fee and you received your deliveries of 12 cases each month since your last payment.
EC: Well, I won’t pay that at all!
Me: Okay, then unfortunately I can not waive the late fee.
EC: Also, I want to cancel my service!
Me: I can process that for you.
EC: and I want all this picked up today and then I won’t have to pay.
(Customer has 36 cases including a machine they rent)
Me: since you accepted the deliveries, and it’s been past 30 days, I can not provide a refund.
EC: YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT–
(i ignored that and just kept going)
Me: furthermore, we are unable to schedule same day deliveries or pickups, and the next time we are in your area is January 14th.
EC: That’s fine. (Customer sounds smug at this point) I’ll have everything thrown in the front yard. And jf the machine ruins my grass, you’ll have to pay for it!
Me: Sir, all due respect since you are saying on a recorded line that YOU are throwing the machine on your front yard, we are not responsible for any damage you make kn your own property. I WILL say however, that if someone other than us takes the machine, or if it is damaged or broken in any way, you will be responsible for payment of the machine.
EC: Go ahead and charge me. Send me to collections for all I care! I’ll just ignore it like I do my other bills you f*king btch! (he hangs up)