The Honeymoon Was Over

So, years ago I was a CSR grunt for a major American bank. I got a call from a very agitated woman. “My husband and I are on our honeymoon, and our card isn’t working? What is wrong with you people?” Well, as much as I’d love to help this friendly lass, her name wasn’t on the account, only his was. So she gets him on the phone, he verifies his information, and then tells me to speak to his wife. Oh, buddy. You so wish you didn’t do that. I can already see that the issue is the account is showing a zero balance, so I know this is gonna go sideways. He’s already yelling in the background about how much this bank sucks. (In fairness to him, that bank sucks.) So when she gets on I tell her the reason the card isn’t working, is, ya know, no money in the account. “How can that be? We had over $4900 in there the last time I checked!” And then I see it. “Well, ma’am, it looks like there’s a lien on the account from the state of Texas for unpaid child support.” “UNPAID CHILD SUPPORT?” Now the dude in the background starts yelling louder. “I never told them they could do that!” And she yells right back at him, and I will never forget it: “YOU HAVE KIDS?!?” Click.

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