I got a call in the middle of my shift on account management query line. After given the usual, and friendly greeting, I get a response from the most hypocritical, pompous, grandstanding lawyer I have ever heard on the line. The cast: EL – Entitled Lawyer and Me – obviously not the tooth fairy. Also condensing the whole diatribe to the relevant bits
EL – Yeah my name is EL, I am representing a client who uses your services.
Me – Oh…yes certainly what can I do for you?
EL – Yeah, my client had a rude experience with you, not you yourself but, well.
Me – I do understand what you mean, you mean the support department. What can I do to help, EL?
EL states the issue of his call, but the kicker to remember here is he finished it with: “yes my client was constantly spoken over and was rudely interrupted” (Keep this in mind, because the irony of what transpires is lost on EL).
Me – I see, well I apologise that your client was treated in such way, I can certainly look into-
EL (getting louder in his rebuff)- Spare me that-! I want to know if you intend to do your job and address what my client stated?!
Me – Well sir, I can certainly do my best to address it but-
EL (louder than before) – No buts! You are not doing your job, you are violating policy, and as such my client has legal grounds to sue your company.
Me (getting the relevant files, as EL now threatened legal matters. It was bad enough I couldn’t “do my job” as I was not speaking to the account holder, the lawyer adding legalities wasn’t helping the matter either) – I understand sir, and as I said before I’d be more than happy to help but-
EL (even more louder)- I have you on recording, sir! This call is being recorded and will be used in the suit against your company! You just admitted you won’t do what said policy clearly dictates you to do.
Me – Sir that isn’t –
EL throws more ranting, commanding me to do my job, when he fails to realise I can’t do my job as EL is not the account holder, and by him threatening legal suit, the job or demand he asked of me is completely out of my hands.
Me (trying to give him the legal department) – Okay sir, I understand your concern but I would need to give you these-
EL – You think I won’t sue you? Do you question my credentials?! (Where he got that notion, I will never know…)
Me – Sir, your credentials have never been in question
more taunts of an irate EL to do my job
Me – Sir, I need to give you our Legal Department Address, as you sai-
EL – I wouldn’t have to contact your department, if you clearly did your job and did as policy dictated you to do it.
Me – Sir I-
It was at this point, the lawyer reminded me that I was recorded, without tact said goodbye, and hung up as I tried providing the details he needed.
I already had a shit start to my shift, this was the highlight of it. If said lawyer does go through with the threat of legal action, I highly doubt it would get far….because what kind of lawyer doesn’t ask, or rather wait for, the details for the legal department to submit said suit to?
And for that matter, if said threat does go through, what kind of court would accept a clearly one sided, badgering call as evidence?
Simply put, a shitty lawyer won’t go far in life, but they certainly love to make others miserable.