If you haven’t seen my few previous posts, I work in a call center for a Midwest Retailer. This happened about 2.5-3 months after I started this job. I have an ass-ton of call center experience since I spent ten grueling years of Tech Support and a year in sales. So, I have a nice resting call center voice that based on its lack of variance and tone irritates most of these harpies. Now, the way this works is: calls for the store come to me and if I can’t help them, I get them to the correct dept. I am not physically in the store and have no way of doing what she asked. Okay, onto the show.
Me: Thank you for calling (store) this is OP, how may I help you?”
CL: Hi, this is CrazyLady, my husband is a greeter and I need to talk to him, I am not feeling well and need him to come home.
Me: I am sorry to hear that, let me get you to someone who can get him for y…
CL: Why won’t you heeeeelllllppppp me.
Me: I am trying to help. I need to transfer you to the store so they can get your husband.
CL: No, you do it. Stop being lazy and do your job.
Me: That is not possible I am not in the store so I hav….
CL: I don’t care if you are on break, you are required to help me and I want you to walk your ass over and get MY GODDAMN HUSBAND!
Me: Again ma’am(normally I would use ‘miss’, but fuck this harpy.)there is no way that I can do that. I am not located in the store. I can get you to someone who can help you find your husband.”
CL: Do you want me to die just because you are lazy? I am going to get you fired. It is illegal to not help a sick woman. I don’t know why they hire LAAAAAZZZZYYYY pigs like you. I will make sure that you never get work again. NOW! GET MY HUSBAND!!!
Me: Please understand the only way for me to get you to your husband is to transfer you to someone in the store who can go and get him. I don’t have the extension for the greeter stand so I cannot transfer you directly to him.
CL: YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL MEE! WHYYYYYYY DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE! (yes, but dreams)
Me: Ma’am, there is no way for me to go to him. I am not in the same location that he is, but I can get you to someone who can. (she loses it now.)
CL: I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE BEING SO MEAN TO YOUR ELDERS. YOU WANT TO TAKE OUT YOUR CHILDISH FRUSTIONS ON AN OLD WOMAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE TO HAVE A HUSBAND WORK AT HIS AGE, AND YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT HIS POOR WIFE IS SICK AND MAY BE DYING!!
Me: I am very sorry if you let me I will get you to someone who can get your husband.
At this point, she has just broken down into shrill whine and began to demand people wearing different colors and asking me what my shirt color was, and this went on for three minutes because she finally asked for a manager. I happily transferred to the manager. When I told him, what was going on and how I had explained that I was not located in the store, he just sighed, “This is not the first time she has done this, she probably has a hangnail. Thank you, send her through.” I really felt bad for him, he seemed nice. I am still working there and I have other stories, but she sticks in my mind as the dumbest craziest Karens out there.