This happened this morning & while I am annoyed I am also too amused to be too annoyed.
I work for a small local ISP. We have a customer who has been significantly behind on their payments for awhile. They constantly dispute their usage & only send enough to cover what they think they used. We can get into their equipment & prove we’re right but still, every time they go over their data limit we go through this song and dance and they underpay us.
They got away with it for a long time because we didn’t have a regular billing person for 10 months after the previous one died suddenly & the rest of us barely managed to keep regular billing moving while new people were hired, trained & then quit or were fired. Disputes got pushed on the back burner & extensions were given, etc. But we’re sorted now & have been trying to get this person to pay up for awhile. Billing person & I between us spent several weeks constantly reaching out & talking to them & they’d pay dribs and drabs of the amount owed but only as a last resort to get their time extended, until I finally had enough & followed through on the threats, shutting them off, pending payment in full. It absolutely should not have gone on as long as it did but because we are “Small- Local- Friendly”, it did.
Billing person took their irate call afterward & decided to accept their word they were mailing a check for the full amount & turned them back on with the notice that if the money wasn’t here by 10/18 they were off & tacked on extensive terms & conditions to their ever being turned back on again.
Today billing person goes & gets the mail. Slices the stack open. Sees one is from this person & waves the envelope around saying “Guess who this is?”
Glitter comes flying out of the envelope!
And not just standard glitter either. Penis shaped glitter was mixed in!
Glitter all over the office & all over the billing person (who a 6ft tall 200 pound guy). Little penises stuck to his hair, to the chairs & carpet, the fabric of the cubicles. It’s on the filing cabinets & the computers & various pieces of hardware that were being staged in the cubby across from his. Tech guys coming in to pick up equipment now have glitter on them. Most of us have some glitter on us. Shit got everywhere. Glittery penises all over the place.
The hardware is all sealed so nothing is actually damaged. While glitter everywhere is annoy AF & we’ll still be cleaning it up in a month, we all agree it’s also pretty damn funny. Even billing person started laughing after the surprise wore off. Even Boss got a laugh out of it. Regular glitter probably would not have gotten the same reaction but the fact that is penises has us all in hysterics.
Retaliatory sperm glitter in their next invoice has been suggested by several coworkers but will NOT be happening.