“i’m going to send my team out to destroy your company”

this one was a doozy

dg (delusional guy)

me: hi this is (security company) can i get your account number?

dg: fine it’s #1234567 why can’t my mother upgrade her equipment?

me: checks credit report and shows it came back as a fail it looks like we just ran your mother’s credit and it came back as a fail, so we are unable to finance the upgrade but there’s an option to pay upfront

dg: WHY did it fail? my mother has paid her bill in full for months and has been a loyal customer

me: i’m not sure, we cannot control the credit checks or the results of those checks, but you can contact the credit bureau to see what could be the issue

dg: why would I HAVE to do that? isn’t this your job?

me: i’m sorry sir repeats exactly the same thing i just told him

dg: this is no way to conduct business, my name is delusional guy and i own a very successful security company in the midwest, look it up! and i will happily send my mother to someone else if you don’t fix this

me: i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand if you would like to switch providers, but we do have lots of other options since she is and maybe we can work out another offer for renewal since she is approaching the end of her contract

dg: no, i am going in to work now but someone better reach out to me by tomorrow with an apology or i will send my team out and we will recruit the entire neighborhood

me: i’m sorry sir but we are an outbound call center, i can’t guarantee someone will reach out but i am making detailed notes so if you call back they will know the whole situation

dg: you’re telling ME that you are TOO BUSY to help a customer YOU WRONGED, we will destroy your company and you will be sorry, so you better have someone call me OR

me: i’m not saying that i’m only-

dg hangs up

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