this one was a doozy
dg (delusional guy)
me: hi this is (security company) can i get your account number?
dg: fine it’s #1234567 why can’t my mother upgrade her equipment?
me: checks credit report and shows it came back as a fail it looks like we just ran your mother’s credit and it came back as a fail, so we are unable to finance the upgrade but there’s an option to pay upfront
dg: WHY did it fail? my mother has paid her bill in full for months and has been a loyal customer
me: i’m not sure, we cannot control the credit checks or the results of those checks, but you can contact the credit bureau to see what could be the issue
dg: why would I HAVE to do that? isn’t this your job?
me: i’m sorry sir repeats exactly the same thing i just told him
dg: this is no way to conduct business, my name is delusional guy and i own a very successful security company in the midwest, look it up! and i will happily send my mother to someone else if you don’t fix this
me: i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand if you would like to switch providers, but we do have lots of other options since she is and maybe we can work out another offer for renewal since she is approaching the end of her contract
dg: no, i am going in to work now but someone better reach out to me by tomorrow with an apology or i will send my team out and we will recruit the entire neighborhood
me: i’m sorry sir but we are an outbound call center, i can’t guarantee someone will reach out but i am making detailed notes so if you call back they will know the whole situation
dg: you’re telling ME that you are TOO BUSY to help a customer YOU WRONGED, we will destroy your company and you will be sorry, so you better have someone call me OR
me: i’m not saying that i’m only-
dg hangs up