As some of y’all may already know, I work inbound sales for a major insurance company. And I’m gonna tell y’all about my favorite type of call, outside of someone just calling me to buy.

Most of my calls begin with people saying “I just want a quote.” I get it, must people think of sales as adversarial. But I know it’s gonna be a good one when I ask for their name and they repeat the same thing. If I’m feeling caffeinated and relaxed, I’ll explain to them that I need some basic info to help them out and be able to reference their quote or policy later. If not, I’ll just play the dumbest human alive and ask “And how do you spell that?” At that point, they either get the hint and cooperate, or just continue to stonewall me.

I especially love the demand “I don’t have time, just tell me how much it is for a X year old driver and Y cars”. Why even call an insurance company if your in your last 45 seconds of your lunch break or you need to finish this conversation before the traffic light turns green? And I’ll just flat tell people “I don’t know.” Inevitably, most will reply back with something to the effect of “It’s your job, how do you not know?” And I’ll let them know that I have no idea where they live, what they drive, what their credit looks like, or their driving history, and even if I did, it’s not a rate I just look up in a chart, a pretty complex algorithm calculates their pricing.

And for those stubborn enough to still stick with it, I usually get, “Well, just give me a guess!” At which point, I get to break out my favorite line, “Well, I’ve seen a price as low as $16 a month and as high as $5430 a month, so your price will probably be somewhere in there. Is there anything what I can do you for today?”

Sometimes, my job isn’t the absolute worst.

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“i’m going to send my team out to destroy your company”

Casual racism is never a good strategy