You get what you give.

Debt collector back at it!

My company doesn’t have strict policies for how we manage our collections process. If I want to refund someone, I can. If I want to recharge someone, I can. If I want to charge a late fee, I can. If I want to hold someone’s account, you bet I can. But sometimes I just don’t want to.

A lady calls through, our customer support is busy so I’ve got the overflow – I often switch between collections and customer support so I can take just about any call.

Verification etc…

Customer: why the fuck have you charged me late fees?

Me: it looks like your most recent payment was over 10 days late so the system has automatically added them.

Customer: you can’t do that, you’re stealing my money, no one told me I was late.

Me: we did sent you an SMS as soon as it failed, an email and SMS on the second day and I personally tried to call you just yesterday.

C: you can’t do that.

M: we can, we gave you fair warning and as part of the terms and conditions of your loan, we can charge late fees.

C: you need to send me a text before the next payment.

M: unfortunately our system doesn’t provide that service, that’s why we send reminders after it’s due and before any fees occur.

C: that’s bullshit. YOU need to text me then.

M: I can’t do that unfortunately but you’ll get the text of your first payment fails to remind you.

C: why the fuck can’t you? Send me a text yourself the day before.

M: X, I manage thousands of accounts, I cannot manually send a text to everyone, nor can our system, we only offer overdue messages, it’s your responsibility to remember. I can send you a statement showing the exact dates your payments are due though.

C: refund my late fees.

M: unfortunately I can’t as the system did those (I can, but she was rude to start with).

C: I’ll cancel my card.

M: that’s up to you but we will continue the collections process if payments are not made, this can sometimes lead to a default on your credit file.

C: don’t threaten me.

M: I haven’t, I’m trying to make you aware of the process.

C: well next time my payment is due I’m paying $LateFee$ less.

M: then your payment will fail, I’m sorry.

C: you should be, maybe then you’ll text me before they’re due.

M: as I advised you, I cannot text you before your payments are due, these payments are your responsibility and you are liable.

C: then I’m not going to put enough money in my account.

M: your account will then fall into arrears.

C: fuck you, I’m not paying the fee.

M: as advised, that’s your choice but you are liable, I’m going to end the phone call now X. Talk soon.


Now if she had been polite to me or even spun me a tale half believable about why she hadn’t paid I MIGHT have waived the fee.

I’m a human and despite being a debt collector I do have emotions. If you give me kindness, I’ll give you kindness. If you give me attitude, I’ll give you late fees.

(If it’s any indication of the types of people I get, I once got emotional because a man simply told me to enjoy the rest of my evening and thanked me for explaining things to him…)

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My favorite way of dealing with fraudsters

”Yeah, but what time zone?”