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Please oh please

This is more of a vent and some rules for ‘callers’ follow.
1- Puleeez stooop lying for credit. Don’t tell me you haven’t been able to use your equipment for “ weeks and weeks “and I can clearly see different. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the computer age… if I wanna, I can probably see if you changed your underwear.
2- Stop with the “Ive been a customer for 9 million years” so what.
3-Unless you “do” my job, don’t “do” my job. I don’t need you to tell me “How”. I am a trained professional. That’s why they pay me….well
4- YELL ALL YOU WANT—— WHILE YOURE YELLING IM TWEETING AND VAPING
LAST BUT NOT LEAST
you were on hold for 10 minutes because the person before you felt they needed to tell me about the 10 minute hold and the person before them etc……#rubberneck

What do you think?

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My customer, the pirate!

Worked in a call center where I called people with the results of their drug test for employment, school, etc