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Hurrying? Okay, let me make this reaaaal slow

I was in a financial account a few months ago and they’re pretty strict on name spelling because our system has no way to double check existing accounts (privacy matters) so we need to be thorough with all the details before submitting the report to avoid any problems down the road. We usually phonetically spell out names to make sure but since we also need to be efficient, common first names don’t necessarily need to be phonetically spelled (important later).

So I was having an easy day, not much calls and I was planning lunch with my colleague when the phone rang.

Me: Hello, this is tffnypvl. How may I assist you?

Caller: I’VE BEEN ON THE PHONE FOR 20 MINUTES (false, calls weren’t even queueing at that time) AND THE LINE KEPT DISCONNECTING AND I HAVE TO DIAL OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING SIMPLE AND I HAD TO WAIT GOD KNOWS HOW LONG. I AM IN A HURRY, GOD, DON’T YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW IMPORTANT TIME IS?! I AM A VERY BUSY PERSON—

At this point, I hit the mute button and proceeded to talk with my colleagues while the man is ranting his heart out. I came back a minute later and he was just about to finish his grand speech.

Me: I’m sorry to hear about your experience but don’t worry, I’ll be here to assist you. For me to do that, I’ll need your information please. Let’s start with your name.

Caller: Jonathan Alfred Anderson (not real name).

Now, as I mentioned, I don’t need to phonetically spell out his name because it’s a pretty common name but hey, I gotta be thorough, right? He’s a very very busy person and we don’t want problems down the road with a misspelling, right?

Me: Alright, is that Jonathan as in J for Juliet, O for Oscar, N for November, A for alpha, T for tango, H for hotel, A for alpha, N for November.

Caller: Yes.

Me: And Alfred as in A for alpha, L for lima, F for foxtrot…

I was taking my time, making sure I’m as slow as possible. By the time I reached his surname, I heard a loud bang followed by the line being disconnected. Well, Mr. Jonathan Alfred Anderson, if you haven’t ranted for almost 2 minutes and been a little more polite then the call would have been over quicker.

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You’re why our call volume is congested

There is no way $1670 a year is $100 a month