"You do not have an account with us!"

In a previous post, I mentioned my department deals with relaying account closure information to clients. Today, I got a call from a Karen that never even had an account with our bank! The conversation goes, more or less, as follows:

Me: Thank you for calling “Bank,” this is OP, may I please have your first and last name?

Karen: Karen Karenson

Me: Thank you! May I have your account number?

K: Provides account number

Me: How can I help you today?

K: Listen, this is not my account. The owner of this account took money from me, and I want you to tell me when I’m getting that back, IMMEDIATELY!

Me: ….Okay, well if this isn’t an account you’re on, I can’t provide information to you about it.

K: The owner of this account is a criminal, and I demand that you give me back my money, right now!

Me: Then you have to discuss this matter with your bank so they can follow through with any fraud procedures they have.

K: If you can’t help me, get me a supervisor who can!

Me: Ma’am, you’re not a customer with us. Not even my supervisor can assist you with this becau-

K: Then get me to a department that can help me!

Me: Ms. Karenson, all of our other departments are “customer service” departments. They service our customers with our bank. You do not have an account with us! No department can help service you!

K: You can’t treat customers like this!

Me: You’re NOT a customer with us.

This continued for over half an hour before she gave up and left me the hell alone! I never raised my voice, but you could definitely hear the frustration in my voice having to go over that multiple times. I’m more than sure someone else got her after she hung up.

TL;DR Karen wanted information on an account that wasn’t hers and got mad when she didn’t get her way.

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You can….suck an egg!!

Happy old gentlemen