I will never forget Mrs. NA.
She called because she didn’t agree with paying her medical bill.
NA- That man you call a Doctor did nothing for my worms! I have worms in my skin. They feed off the staph I’ve had for 20 years since living in the barracks.
Me- It doesn’t look like the Doctor was able to find any worms on you after some tests he ran that day.
NA- DONT YOU FUCKING TELL ME I HAVE NO WORMS. THEY ARE IN MY EYEBALLS. THEY COME OUT AT NIGHT AND FEED ON MY SKIN. I HEAR THEM CHEWING AND CHEWING AND CHEWING ALL NIGHT!
Me- Mrs. NA please do not scream at me.
NA- YOU NEED TO BE MORE APPRECIATIVE TO ME, WHILE I WAS IN THE NAVY I SAVED THE WORLD FROM WORLD WAR THREE SINGLE-HANDEDLY. I RETIRED AS A 2 STAR GENERAL AND HAD TO GO INTO HIDING. And now to treat the worms I got 20 year ago I put drops of silver nitrate in my eyes. Doctors don’t know shit. I am going BLIND from the fucking worms!!
Me- (internally thinking because she won’t let me speak- so the silver nitrate is making you go blind lady, not worms….)
NA- AND ALSO! That quack of a doctor wouldnt even precribe me medication I’ve been on for 30 years for my seizures!
Me- Mrs. NA, you saw a dermatologist. He does not prescribe seizure medication, you should contact your neurologist who fills that precription.
NA- Dont you fucking tell me what kind of Doctor I saw! I KNOW WHO I SAW! THAT PIECE OF SHIT ISN’T GETTING A DIME FROM ME!
Me- Mrs. NA, you said earlier that you are retired from the Navy. Right?
NA- Yes! Can’t you understand English!
Me- Of course I can ma’am. May I have you retiree Tricare-for-life information which will pay as secondary to your Medicare?
NA- click
Diagnosis from Doctor- delusional disorders. Also, in his Medical Records, records how NA claims to have saved the world from WWIII.
Later found out she had to be escorted out of the building after her appointment, by police.
I will never forget Mrs. NA. I now use her as an example for trainees that you can never predict what kind of call you are going to get. NA and I had a 20 minute long conversation. But this is the gist of it.
submitted by /u/SarahH28
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