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The computer has given you a new name

A call which blew my mind about the incompetence of computers..

With our firm, Customers need their customer number to sign up online and look at their information. We’ve been promoting online accounts lately so getting quite a few requests for long forgotten customer numbers.

Me: Thank you for calling Initech, can I help you find your customer number?

Cust: That’d be great, thanks!

M: Sure, I can do that for you. Can I get your name and date of birth, please?

C: Barnard Arnold Gumble, 20 April 1955

I dutifully type Gumble, Bar into the search box and there are two results. -Gumble, Barney Patrick – 03/31/1939 -Szyslak, Moammar Morris – 04/20/1955

*What the…

M: Are you known by any other names?

C: Uh, no?

M: Thanks for that, I’ll just need to put you on hold for a moment.

[On hold he goes]

*Oh Crap, What’s going on here?

Open up the Szyslak account, head for the name field and there, on March 21, is an entry where the system has automatically updated the name. Someone mistyped a number into a TPS report back in March and, on the basis of that, the computer decided to completely update this guy’s name.

To be allowed to access his account and disclose information, I need to verify he can correctly answer a series of questions. First question: full name. A question my customer will definitely fail at.

15 minutes talking to tech support later I’m given permission to fix the name and give Barney his customer number. And a 3 minute call has taken 30. Thanks computer.

I’m just grateful that he didn’t have an online account when the stuff up happened, or the call would’ve been him asking who the hell Moammar Szyslak is and why is his name in the, which would’ve been fun to try and explain.

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Why do they keep calling us???

Sure, we’re useless