This one is short & sweet.
I work for a Mobility service provider as a Small Business Care Rep/Loyalty Department.
Me: Thank you for calling ___ Mobility, My name is Deezy7932…How May I help?
Customer: So it’s the New Year. What am I getting as my gift??? (Customer sounds dead serious & annoyed)
Me: Sorry sir?
Customer: It’s the New Year. What are you going to do for me as a loyal customer?
Me: Well we do appreciate your loyalty. I can take a look & see if we have any loyalty offers you would be eligible for?
Customer: Well make it quick…I’m a very busy person.
I put him on hold & check how long he has been with us. TWO MONTHS. I already know he won’t be eligible for anything. AND is account is past due by two months. FML
Me: Thanks for holding sir… I checked out your account & unfortunately…
Customer: DONT SAY THAT WORD!
Me: I do apologize sir. Due to you being so new into your 2 year term…there is nothing in terms of loyalty I can offer you at this time. That being said…as you carry on in your contract…offers will be made available to you.
Customer: THIS IS BULLSHIT. Where is my GIFT?
Me: Sir…we do not have any promotions available for you at this time that we can offer. If there was something in my system…I would love to offer it to you (Total lie LOL) but there is nothing I am able to do as you do not qualify for loyalty offers at this time.
Customer: SO THIS IS WHAT MY LOYALTY GETS ME???
Me: again sir…I do apologize…
Customer: Save it!! I’ll be cancelling soon. So much for loyalty.
IN WHAT WORLD DOES 2 MONTHS (OF UNPAID SERVICE AT THAT) qualify you as a LOYAL customer?!