Something Fishy This Way Comes

I’m on a roll today reliving all my worst chats that I’ve shared with coworkers. So you get to enjoy some oldies but goodies. I am a chat customer service rep for a major retail company and these are some transcripts I’ve saved. I This one was three years ago but I still remember it because I had to take a break after it, the dude was such an asshole and I had a bit of a PTSD flare-up from it. Don’t judge me. Or do. Whatever. lol

[9:37:49 AM] Me: Hello there Customer! I hope you are having a fantastic start to your week. 🙂 Thank you for chatting in with the Lighting and Ceiling Fan department at the ****. What lighting project can I assist you with today?
[9:38:50 AM] customer: Can’t find a simple 12 inch fluorescent bulb for my under cabinet light. **** website is beyond useless.
[9:40:12 AM] Me: Oh no! I apologize about the technical difficulties you’re experiencing, Customer. 🙁 We actually just updated the website so I’m sorry to hear that you are not enjoying the new layout. I highly recommend submitting your feedback by using the orange feedback button directly below the Live Chat button so that we can use your input to further improve our site. We always value the opinions of our customers. 🙂
[9:40:44 AM] Me: Are you wanting me to take a look and see if I can locate the bulb you need?
[9:41:31 AM] customer: I’m waiting for help in any way you can.
[9:42:45 AM] Me: Well, thank you so much for your patience with me this morning, Customer. I really appreciate it. 🙂 I’m happy to help in any way that I can. I just need a bit more information so I can do so. Do you know the base code for the bulb you need to use or do you know the model number for the under cabinet light you have so I can locate that information?
[9:45:35 AM] Me: I haven’t heard from you in a while. Did you still want to chat?
[9:45:49 AM] customer: All i know is that it’s a 12 inch skinny fluorescent bulb. My under cab lights are not new, and i’m sure the model number is written on the back surface that’s mounted to the cabinet. Why can’t i type in 12 inch fluor bulbs and get the right item
[9:46:16 AM] customer: I’m getting unrelated responses like concrete tube.
[9:46:23 AM] customer: this is insane
[9:47:00 AM] customer: Cant you see that i’m typing?
[9:47:12 AM] Me: It may be better to go by filters instead of search results as the results are populating based on keywords they are pulling from the product page. I can definitely understand how frustrating that is though. I have that same problem when I shop on Amazon sometimes. One moment and I’ll grab you a page.
[9:47:20 AM] customer: you’re not aware that i’m responding to your questioins
[9:47:49 AM] customer: Amazon works fine
[9:47:56 AM] Me: I am not, Customer, because there are times when the chat box says that a customer is typing but what has really happened is that their connection has disconnected so they are a ghost.
[9:48:15 AM] customer: I don’t even get the choices that you have in the store.
[9:48:41 AM] customer: i ask specifically for 12 inch and i get 4 and 8 foot results
[9:49:22 AM] customer: Are your customers supposed to know all this
[9:49:36 AM] customer: your system is very poor
[9:49:44 AM] customer: i’m going over to Competitor
[9:50:05 AM] customer: You still haven’t found my bulbs have you?
[9:50:19 AM] customer: You can’t find them either
[9:50:23 AM] Me: I’m sorry to hear that, Customer. Again, I highly recommend using the feedback button so that we can improve our site and win back your business in the future.
[9:50:42 AM] customer: why should i help you do your own job
[9:50:43 AM] Me: Actually, Customer, I do have some results that may work for you but I understand if you no longer want to see them.
[9:50:44 AM] customer: ??????
[9:51:05 AM] customer: well when were you going to show them to me?
[9:51:30 AM] customer: well?
[9:51:33 AM] customer: well?
[9:51:59 AM] customer: WELL????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
[9:52:20 AM] customer: WHERE ARE YOUR RESULTS????????????????????????????
[9:52:33 AM] customer: YOU HAVE NO RESULTS
[9:52:40 AM] customer: I DON’T SEE YOUR RESULTS
[9:53:24 AM] customer: DID YOU RUN AWAY?
[9:56:09 AM] customer: ARE YOU STILL THERE?
[9:57:27 AM] customer: PATHETIC

*customer disconnects*

Not gonna lie, at the end, I let him just rant himself to a rage quit cause I just couldn’t without going off at that point. We get a notification every time a customer responds and we take two chats at a time. When people act like this dude did, it can get ridiculously overwhelming, even when you’re a seasoned CSR (with great survey scores if I might add 😉 ) who can juggle between the two really well. He honestly didn’t give two shits what I responded with, he just wanted to be a dick. So I focused on my other customer instead.

submitted by /u/cutedorkycoco
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