I’m important! Send someone to fix it!

Years ago, I worked on a help desk supporting IT for a state department.

I get a call from a guy from another office who hits the ground running.

Idiot caller: “My computer won’t start and it’s vital I get information for a meeting! Hurry!”

Me: “Are any of the other computers in your area having issues?”

Idiot: “There’s no one else here. Look, just send someone, it’s important that I get my meeting stuff!”

Me: “Can you get the information using someone else’s computer?” (Because important documents are saved to the network. Supposedly).

Idiot: “I tried a couple of computers but they wouldn’t turn on either. You’re an idiot! Just send someone because I’m important! The other idiots have turned off the power! Are you stupid?”

Me: “I’m just getting someone…wait, I’m just getting a message from your support team.” I look at the message and the building is flooded and the bottom floor is under two feet of water. “Um, you’re not on the ground floor are you?”

Idiot: “Yes. Look, just get them to turn the power on. I’m standing in water up to my knees and I want to get to my meeting!”

Yes, a guy who was a civil engineer wanted the power turned back on so he could use his computer in a flood. Added wtf-ness because the power points were on the ground under the desks. And I wouldn’t get the power turned on because I was stupid. In retrospect, our group thought that perhaps we should’ve had the power turned back on to protect the world from him forever.

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The customer that wanted to shoot the technician

“You need some more training sweetie”