“You’re a family friendly company!”

 A couple of years ago I worked as a customer service rep for a large insurance company. This was my first ever call center job and overtime I had gotten pretty good at handling people’s complaints and redirecting them toward the appropriate area if needed. For the most part, the complaints were basic, ranging from being upset over an increase in their monthly payment to dissatisfaction in the way their situation is being handled. Every so often a customer would call in with a “complaint” that was so ridiculous and pointless that it took everything in my power to not hang up the phone (we were never given the opportunity to unless we were continuously being verbally assaulted and harassed). One ordinary afternoon, I started my shift and took some easy calls. The next call I answered was for Complaining Customer (CC): 

Me: Thank you for calling AwesomeInsurance. This is tallrickslowmorty. How can I help you today?

CC: I’d like to file a complaint.

Me: I’m sorry to hear about that. I’ll be happy to assist you with whatever you need. What are you looking to make a complaint about?

CC: Well, I was watching Cartoon Network and I saw an advertisement for AwesomeInsurance on the channel.

Me: So you’re upset about us doing advertisements?

CC: No! I’m upset that you guys have advertisements on Cartoon Network. AwesomeInsurance is a family friendly company and Cartoon Network has a bunch of violence, cussing, and necrophilia on it!

I really didn’t know what to say at this point because it was so absurd. I had no idea that Cartoon Network was so Satanic.

Me: Well, I am sorry that you feel that way. To my knowledge, Cartoon Network does not have any sort of necrophilia on it. I do appreciate that you view us as a friendly family company and value that in us. As far as advertisements go, I don’t have any control over that. The best I can do is give you the address to our headquarters and you can send them a letter explaining your views.

CC: I will because necrophilia is wrong and it is wrong for a family friendly company to have any business with it.

Me: Again, I’m sorry you feel that way. Here’s the address and have a good day!

This was by far the most bizarre thing that I’ve received a complaint about. I’m lucky he was so compliant to get off the phone.