The first half of the call was so nice. Followed the usual script, and I even made a sale! However, as soon as we’re done, the customer asked me if I was a Christian and it went down hill from there. Customer is female from the Deep South, and I’m male. Our conversation goes something like this (not word-for-word):
Customer: Are you a Christian?
Me: No, I’m actually atheist, but I definitely respect people with faith.
Customer: I’m a devout Christian myself, so I believe in the concept of heaven and hell and that hell is a real place where there’s eternal fire and torture. It’s okay that you’re not a believer — you weren’t raised into it. Where are you from? You sound dark…
Me:stumbling* Um, I’m originally from Maryland.*
Customer: So you’re just normal American then. You sound like you have Guatamalan or dark complexion in you. Maybe someone in your family has those traits then. Maybe a distant family relative or ancestor.
Customer: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: me,* a gay male who has a feminine voice Um, no I don’t. I’m actually gay.*
Customer: Well, nowadays the devil has tempted a lot of people and many people go astray from the path of salvation. Goes on for another 10 minutes about Jesus Christ and how the Devil has many temptations* I want to imbue the light of the Lord in you. Will you allow me to pray your you?*
Me: Okay, I guess…
Customer: LITERALLY starts praying for my soul over the phone* I pray for Jesus Christ for him to save this kind man and to lead him into the path path of the light so that he may get into heaven. Save him from the temptations of the Devil. Will you do me a favor and accept the word of Jesus Christ and join me in the prayer?*
Me: *At this point, the call had already stretched on for 25 minutes. I needed to end the call Um, I actually have other customer on the line. I’d love to, but I have to take their calls too. It was great talking with you though.*
Customer: goes on to talk about the Bible for another 3 minutes**
Me: Okay, it was great talking with you today. Have a wonderful rest of your day!
I ended that call as soon as she said “bye.” And then I laughed my ass off the rest of the night. Just wanted to share this hilarious story with someone.