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I need a microphone for this? Wait wat.

Since my last post was quite appealing to people, I’ll share another story (I have a lot of astonishingly simple yet silly stories, stay tuned :D)

[Crosspost from r/talesfromtechsupport – couldn’t do a proper one for some reason]

Me: Tech Support working for big software company, supporting dictation software.

Customer: Completely PC-illiterate.

Me: “Thank you for contacting [xxx Company name] technical support, my name is [me], how may I help you?”

Customer: “So I started loading up this software of yours but the dictation does not work.”

Me: [checking the usual stuff, software version, OS etc. etc until I come to the more specific part with the microphone] “Okay, so have you turned on the microphone?”

Customer: “Microphone? What?”

Me: [What?] “Uhm, erm, have you…checked if the microphone is plugged in and switched to ON?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Does your PC have an integrated microphone maybe?”

Customer: “I don’t understand, why would I need a microphone at all?”

Me: … “Well, because otherwise the PC has no chance of actually receiving and processing what you want to dictate.”

Customer: “What? This is not what I paid for!!!”

Me: “Unfortunately, technology is not developed enough to make telepathic communication a thing, I am very sorry, but you’ll need a microphone. Most of the newer laptops have an integrated one, and for tower PCs you can usually just buy a 15 quid USB mic and it works fi-“

Customer: “I want a refund. This is bad marketing. You should really clarify that your software is only offering half of the functionality your ads are accounting for.”

Me: … “Of course I can iniate a refund for you, but just to clarify exactly this matter…it is clearly shown in the system requirements that you will need a microphone for using our dictation software.”

Customer: “That is not good enough. Now get me the fucking refund or I will personally make sure that you will hear from my lawyer.”

Me: (silent sigh) “Alright, Ma’am, I will initiate the refund, may I confirm your details…”

Customer: “You should have my details by now. Do your fucking job and get me that refund.” *click*

Me: (thinking) “Fair enough. I’m afraid we’ll hear from each other again as I have no clue who just called.”

submitted by /u/Sharuhn
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