Don’t be a douche

Okkkk… This is a good one. Happened a few months back. So I work for a pharmacy software company. Specifically I’m in the call center assisting pharmacies and hospitals who call in who use our software. Stick with me, a little context is needed before I get into the conversation with the douchebag.

The way our call center is designed (recently new upper management took over and makes no fucking sense) is that we now have a tier system with technicians. Techs rank from “rangers” (glorified receptionists) to level 4 (programmers). I’m a level 3 tech which means I’m a “product specialist”.

This pharmacy had called in previously several times about a particular feature in the software. This feature was designed to make pharmacists and techs use the software in a specific way. If you deviated from this exact step by step process then the system would not give you the end result you’re looking for.

And when I say “step by step process” I’m LITERALLY talking about 2 clicks of a damn mouse. 2. TWO.

Previous to a recent update , the software had a loophole in the coding and allowed the pharmacists to “bypass” the step by step process. Now this loophole really had nothing to do with our software but the overlay of how windows 10 works . But our programming department was able to work out a fix and rolled it out with an update to our software. The fix works like this, if a person tried to use the loophole that was there , the software would send them back to the main menu and force them to start over . It would repeat this , forcing the user to finally do the step by step process.

So they had updated to our latest version of the software and received this fix. Before they update the software, they were warned of the new change, but of course they didn’t look at the terms and conditions.

They called in and reached several techs, fishing for a different answer other than “The system is not broke, you were warned of this change.” They left absolute destruction in their path of rage. Cussing out numerous techs, making personal threats, and of course the classic douchebag move “I’m leaving your company”.

Because I’m a level 3 tech, I’m not “live” in the sense that customers can reach me directly. They have to be transferred to me by a supervisor.

S= supervisor M= me Db= douchebag

I’m scrolling through Twitter on my phone as my headset beeps

S: Hey chef, we’ve got a fire we need that needs to be put out

M: Sure, what’s the situation?

The supervisor explains the entire situation about how the customer is pissed and cussing out techs and won’t accept the answer we gave him.

-side note- I’m great at my job, and even help programmers with coding at times. I’m probably the most inpatient and least empathetic person in my company, why they choose me all the time to calm down irate people, I’ll never know…

M: Well they are going to love talking to me, send them over.

Supervisor transfers them over

M: Hello, this is chef, I’m the product specialist assigned to handle your case. Could you start by telli…..

Db: LISTEN HERE SKIPPY, IVE EXPLAINED THE PROBLEM 5 TIMES ALREADY. ARE YOU GOING TO DO YOUR JOB AND HELP ME OR NOT???

M: Well , I was going to ask you your name. Im aware of the situation. What is your name sir?

Db: scoffs UGGGGH ITS #@+@(@$.

M: ok thank you, my name is chef, not Skippy.

Db: unintelligible mumbling

M: ok, so let me review the situation and explain to you from the coding side of things what’s going on..

I explained to him with a simple illustration that anybody could understand, even if you didn’t know Jack shit about computers what the problem was and how we fixed it. But of course, that’s not what he wants.

Db: uggggghhh. THAT STILL DOESN’T FIX MY PROBLEM NOW DOES IT??!

M: Well sir, their isn’t a problem with the software, it’s working as designed. Before you updated, it was explained to you that this change would occur.

Db: YEAAAA… SURE IT WAS.

M: May i show you the security logs where you Agreed to these terms?

Db: I sure would! So I can prove you wrong.

M: chuckles

Before an update can occur the system only lets individuals who have admin access to the system authorize a system update. They must enter their user I’d and password. Then they are presented with the terms and they must scroll through the document to the end before they can install.

I’m now screen shared with him on his computer

M: see right here, your user I’d was signed in and entered the password, then you agreed to the terms

Db: I DIDN’T DO THAT!

rolls eyes so hard they might get stuck Why can’t people admit when their wrong?

M: Well if it wasn’t you then someone in your pharmacy has your user id and password.

Db: ok whatever, so where do we go from here? This new change is TAKING UP OUR TIME AND TIME=MONEY. Y’ALL ARE MAKING US LOSE MONEY!

M: Sir, you have 2 options. 1. Don’t use this particular feature of the software. Or 2, just go through the process. It’s only 2 clicks of the mouse.

Db: THAT’S WHAT IM SAYING , ITS TAKING UP TOO MUCH TIME!

M: So you’re saying that 2 clicks of the mouse is taking up too much time?

At this point he’s triggered. Which I was happy to light the fuse , earlier In the call I looked up his account information, he’s always late paying his fees, and always complains about things that none of our other 2,450 pharmacies complain about. He’s a small account and tbh he’s costing us money. Him leaving would not be the worst thing ever.

Db: LOOK HERE MOTHER FUCKER, YOU BETTER FIX MY PROBLEM OR I WILL PERSONALLY FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. I WILL FUCKING END YOU.

Ok pause… I’ve only been cussed out a few times since I’ve worked for this company. A few times when I was lower tech. And to me this is business. You don’t use that language in business and you for sure don’t make threats. When a client starts cussing I hang up.

M: SIR, I will not tolerate that kind of language. I speak to you with respect, I expect the same from you , this is business. I also do not take threats against me or my family lightly. So as you know this phone call is being recorded. I will make sure that proper legal actions are taken personally.

Db: ok ok ok, hang on let me calm down.

Ok nowwwww this fucker gets it.. screw it, he’s not only threatened me, but my fellow colleagues too. Fuck this guy. I’m done.

M: Since personal threats were made I’m no longer obligated to assist you. I will be taking legal action.

Db: but but but… I’m sorry.

I hang up

Now I’m no prissy upper class person, I’ve been threatened before and usually just let it go. But this guy , rubbed me the wrong way. The thing I was most upset about is the fact that he did it to my other colleagues. So since this guy loves to make threats , I’m going to deliver on mine.

I went down to our HR department and explained the situation. The company to my surprise help me file a joint lawsuit over harassment and death threats against me and my colleagues.

Turns out that pharmacist was fired by his company, and was hit with fines. He has a criminal history of domestic violence, abuse, and assault. I can only imagine the life his wife and kids have to go through. Right now the case is pending and he might serve time because he violated his probation.

Morale of the story…. Don’t be a douche.