Insane Man doesn’t understand how holes work.

I used to work in a call center for a BMW mechanics shop. We set appointments, gave prices, etc. During my time, I had the absolute pleasure to speak with some of the most dim witted wealthier people I’ve ever came across. How some of these people managed to make enough to afford the $100 charge every time their tires were low on Nitros and they freaked out because there’s a light blinking at them or even figure out how to get to work each day is still a mystery to me.

(Disclaimer: some were middle class and I know BMW is not a rich person car, but in this area if you can afford more than a one bedroom AND a BMW, you’re above standard middle class. Also, if you have a BMW buy all the damn warranties and then turn it in when they run out.)

One day, right before closing, Insane Man calls.

Me: Standard bullshit greeting that included referring to myself as Director of First Impressions

Insane Man: I ran over a bolt with my new tire.

We set up a time for him to bring it in and he does have the warranty because he just used it to get the tire that now has a bolt in it. Then he drops this marvelous question.

Insane Man: Should I pull the bolt out?

Me: Um, no. That would not be a good idea. The tires have a system in place that will allow you to drive on it while flat for 50 miles, but if you pull out the bolt, it will most likely be completely deflated by the morning.

Insane Man: But, it’s a new tire.

Me: Yes, with a bolt in it.

Insane Man: If I don’t pull it out, it will hurt the tire.

Me: Sir, your tire has a bolt in it which has created a hole that will allow it to completely deflate if you pull it out meaning you’ll have to tow it to us tomorrow instead of drive it in.

Insane Man: It’s new so I don’t want the bolt to keep damaging it over night. I’m going to pull it out.

Me: Sir, please do not pull out the bolt. It will be fine until tomorrow morning when you can safely drive it in.

Insane Man: Well, if you say so….

IIRC, he did end up driving it in and it had to be replaced thanks to where the bolt punctured it. He wasn’t happy.

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Oddly satisfying call.

Santa for a Day.