I took a call yesterday from a 70+ year old man (seemed to have all his faculties) who is halfway through his 4 year loan with us. He wanted to get a hold of the manufacturer to have them come pick up his bed. Seems he bought a new car and can’t afford the bed payments anymore. I advised he is not able to cancel the contract, and is still responsible for the loan.
Me: There was a period in which you could cancel the sale, but that’s long passed. They won’t be picking up the bed.
Gentleman: Hmmm, may I ask why?
Me: Sir, you’ve been using the bed for two years. They are not able to resell the bed at this point, it has no value to the manufacturer.
G: I wasn’t told about any of this.
Me (that’s totally not true) : It’s stated on the contract right below where you sign. I’m happy to send you a copy if you like.
G: No, that’s okay. I think I’ll just consult with my lawyer, this can’t be legal.
Me: That’s fine, sir, could you tell me the name and number of your lawyer so I can note it on your account?
Nobody else wants your bed, dude. How do you live more than 7 decades on this planet and be shocked that you can’t just “j/k never mind lolol” a legal document? We have like $70 million outstanding bruh, I’m so sure you and Clarence Darrow reincarnated over there are going to find a loophole and take us down.
As an aside, I love the response we have when the customer invokes the ALMIGHTY LAWYER ZOMG. “Mmmkay, I’ll write that down right where I note that you prefer ‘Bob’ to ‘Robert’, cuz it’s just as important.”