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No Manager for You!

Quick background: I work for Canadian telecommunications giant (“Blue”) as a L2 tech agent. “Repeat” customers come through to my queue directly, “first time caller” customers are supposed to go to Care/Tech/L1. And sometimes, completely random callers get through….

TL;DR at the end.

Cast:

Urashk: our plucky hero

NotCustomer: our caller. A sheer delight.

Urashk:

NotCustomer: Hey, I’ve got this iPhone I want to get unlocked, but I don’t have your service. Can you help me?

Urashk: Yes ma’am, I can.

NotCustomer: Good. Please unlock it for me.

Urashk: Ok. Can I please start with the IMEI of the phone?

NotCustomer: I just want the phone unlocked!

Urashk: I completely understand. I just need the IMEI number of the phone, so we can get it unlocked for you.

NotCustomer: You mean you can’t unlock it for me??

Urashk: Yes ma’am, we can unlock it. We just need to know which phone to unlock.

NotCustomer: This is ridiculous! I didn’t have to go through this with Red !!

Urashk: I understand, but you don’t have an account with us, so I can’t get the number at our end. I need that IMEI to start the unlock procedure.

NotCustomer: Fine. It’s 12-3456-7-890-12345.

Urashk: Thank you. I have that as: 123-456-789-012-345. Is that correct?

NotCustomer: No! It’s 1234-5-67-89012345!!

Urashk: Thank you for that confirmation. Let me confirm that the device is eligible for unlocking.

NotCustomer: Of course it’s eligible! Do you think I would buy a phone that can’t be unlocked??

Urashk: Not at all, but we do have to confirm the device has not been reported as lost or stolen.

NotCustomer: Oh my God. This is crazy!

Urashk: So that device does show as eligible for unlock.

NotCustomer: Finally!

Urashk: So now I’m pushing through your request to our unlocking team of specialists, who work with Apple to send an Over-The-Air unlock update. You will then receive an email confirming the unlock has been completed, with the final on-phone steps, for the unlock to take effect. Can I get the email account you would like to be notified at?

NotCustomer: No.

Urashk:

Urashk:

Urashk: I’m sorry, did you say you do not have an email address for that confirmation?

NotCustomer: No, I just said “No”. I am refusing to provide an email account.

Urashk: OK, then is there anything else I can help you with?

NotCustomer: So the phone is now unlocked??

Urashk: No, the unlock confirmation is emailed. Without an email address, no unlock can be completed.

NotCustomer:THIS IS RIDICULOUS!! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!!

Urashk: No.

NotCustomer:

NotCustomer: What? …..did you just tell me “no”?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN “NO”?? YOU CAN’T REFUSE ME A MANAGER!! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!

Urashk: Manager escalations are reserved solely for our customers. You are not our customer, therefore there is no escalation required. And as you have escalated to threats, I am releasing this call. Thank you for calling Blue, and have a wonderful day.

I will not lie, this gave me the biggest justice-boner. After all of the entitled d-bag customers who demand a manager/supervisor for no valid reason, saying no felt like freedom.

TL;DR: Demand a manager? You’re not our customer. Buh-bye.

submitted by /u/Urashk
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