I worked customer service for a high end skin cream company for a year. I have stories. They’re all short so I’ll include them in one post.
A note: this company is MLM, so there were consultants selling it to customers, and we mostly dealt with the consultants, not customers.
Consultant: so I have this bottle of sunscreen and I want to make sure it’s ok. I had another bottle where the lotion turned all brown and thick. I want to make sure this bottle is ok to give away without opening it.
Me: well, what’s the expiration dates on the bottles?
C: They don’t have expiration dates.
Me: Yes, they do, they’re printed on the crimp on the bottom of the bottle.
C: I see some numbers on the bottom, 022015.
Me: That means it expired February of 2015. (Note: it was over two years later at this point.)
C: Well, I already gave away the other bottle to be part of a charity raffle, do you think it’s ok?
Consultant: So my customer’s son ate a whole bottle of the intensive renewing serum capsules, do you think he’ll be ok?
Me: CALL POISON CONTROL, WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING.
Consultant: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, please call now.
Consultant: Alright, if you insist.
Customer: So I’m thinking of becoming a consultant, but first, I need to purchase one of every product your company has ever produced. I have (lists half the catalogue), what am I missing, and how much would it be?
(I spend 45 minutes listing every product she doesn’t have, including the prices, and tabulating it. I have to explain several things over and over.)
Customer: Ok, that’s all the products you have currently, but what about everything that’s been discontinued? What are all of those, and how much would those be?
Me: Those products are discontinued. We don’t have them anymore. I don’t have information about them.
Customer: But I need one of EVERYTHING. Where can I get them?
Me: I don’t know, try eBay?
(She called back 6 times asking the same thing, I ended up getting her again, the whole entire conversation got repeated. She kept calling in more asking the same thing. I ended up writing down her account number so I could read the notes to track her being crazy.)
And lastly, this wasn’t me, this was a coworker.
Caller: So I tried to use one of the products as lubricant and I broke out in hives down there, what should I do?
Agent: We don’t sell lubricant, which product where you using?
Caller: the acne treatment sulfur wash.
submitted by /u/gwynforred