Resigned like 2 weeks ago. It wasn’t as dramatic as I once thought. I gave a two week notice which quickly turned into a one week notice with some “I dont give a fuck” behavior of mine being displayed like 3 hour breaks (lol) because I just couldn’t do it anymore. I thought knowing I had just 2 weeks left would make this less boring but nope. It just made me more inpatient and I couldn’t resist myself.
Here is my last call, nothing special, but a beautiful memory. I had taken a 30 min break (instead of 15) and had come from my 3 hour lunch (instead of 1 hour). I got to spend an hour with a crazy lady before this one. I had just 10 minutes left until I could sign my resignation letter when I heard a weird “beep” on my left ear. In order to avoid getting another call I need to employ some auto-in calculus.
-Cx: I had an appointment….
-Me internally: Oh hell no, there is no appointment in this account. Im fucked.
-Cx: But I cancelled it so I want to make a new one
-Me internally: Thank god
-Me: Ok sure, let me pull up the appointments and I will get you the soonest one so we fix your issue as soon as possible. (IT related issue-sending tech out)
Now it has just been like 2 minutes, I still have 8 more to go and Im not taking another call. ACW is quickly pressed on the Avaya so if the call drops and we happen to be back to back I can waste time trying to call him back. I had 5 min of auto-in after talking with that lady so this needs to last at least 3 more minutes but Ill try to make it last 8 more minutes. Will I be able to find a way to pretend Im busy for 8 minutes?
I quickly pull up the appointments and see we have something in 2 days. I need to waste time so I will give him something in 3 days first…
Back with cx
Wassup my dude I found something in 3 days but I know thats a long wait and its unacceptable so if you dont mind Im gonna try and get you something sooner. Please just stay with me on the line
-Cx: Yes please, thanks.
So now I just change the date to the appointment I had in 2 days. It has been 4 minutes now. I just have 6 more to go. With this 2 minute hold I will take it down to 6 minutes and god will just need to give me 3 min of auto-in cause Im gonna use 1 min of ACW (more and my name will probably be heard by everyone in the center as random supervisor screams it and tells me to go back to auto-in which shouldnt matter because Im leaving now that I think about it…).
I quickly do a dirty old trick and find something sooner. Instead of 2 days it will be 1 day of waiting. I grab the 1 day appointment before its taken and proceed to blatantly lie to dear cx
Back with cx
-Me: Good news, I was able to find something in 2 days, but I still want to do my best so if you just give me like 2 more minutes I will try and find something even sooner
-Cx: Ok thanks I will wait
Walk back and forth for 2 minutes while on hold since I already grabbed that sooner appointment
Goes back with cx
-Me: As I said sir, I was able to find something sooner. Youll get the tech there in just a day instead of two. This was the soonest we had. So now that we scheduled your appointment is there anything else I can help you with?
-Cx: No thanks
10 minutes passed by. No acw used required, just logged out. A perfect example of auto-in calculus. I proceeded to sign my resignation and find true happiness in the drive back home lol!