I used to field calls for a vending machine company. Customers would call when the machines were broken or empty. Our branch was one of the largest in the company and took care of machines that were several hours away from the home office.
The day had been particularly bad. Seconds before this call came in, I was on the phone with a customer yelling at me for half an hour.
ME: Me. CPL: Cherry Pepsi Lady
ME: thank you for calling company, this is looper how may I
CPL: THIS MACHINE HAS STOLEN FROM ME
ME: Okay ma’am, can you give me your location and what kind of machine you’re using?
CPL: IM AT ABC AND THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE. IT’S THE DAMN PEPSI MACHINE.
ME: Can you explain to me what happened?
CPL: I ORDERED A DIET PEPSI AND THIS F****NG MACHINE GAVE ME A CHERRY PEPSI. NEVER IN MY 30 YEARS HAVE I DRANK A CHERRY PEPSI AND I SURE AS HELL WON’T START TODAY.
ME: Okay ma’am I apologize for the inconvenience. What I can do for you is I can issue a refund.
CPL: I DONT WANT A REFUND, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME A DIET PEPSI OUT OF THIS MACHINE.
ME: Ma’am I can’t do that.
CPL: WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?? IM COMING TO YOU THEN.
ME: You are MORE than welcome to come here for your diet pepsi. I am “town that is 3 hours away”
CPL: WHAT! YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU ARENT LOCAL? I WILL PUT MY HEAD THROUGH THIS GLASS IF I DONT GET MY DRINNNNNKKKKK!
ME: OKAY MA’AM this is getting out of hand. You either need to calm down and accept the refund or I am calling the police.
CPL: WELL THEN GIVE ME THE DAMN REFUND.
I end the call, mail the refund, and a few weeks later it is returned for an invalid address. Needless to say I did NOT contact her again. I could literally write a book with the stories I have from that job.