You all seemed to like my story about the trash can covered in squirrel blood, so here’s another one from my time working for a trash hauler. This wasn’t me, I overheard it though.
Caller: The driver didn’t pick up my garbage again.
Agent: Oh, no! I’m sorry about that. I’ll be happy to check in the notes and see what’s going on.
(She checks her account, and there’s a note on her account that the driver relayed to operations that says “CAN’T ACCESS TRASH CAN, BLOCKED BY ANGRY WILD TURKEYS”.)
Agent: Um, it appears the driver was unable to get to your trash can because there were angry wild turkeys blocking the way.
Caller: They’re not angry! They’re perfectly friendly! They’re my pets.
Agent: I’m sorry, is there anyway to keep them out of the way so the driver could get to the trash can?
Caller: THEY’RE NOT ANGRY, THEY’RE MY PETS.
(She kept calling back, demanding we send the driver out again to get her trash, screaming that the turkeys are harmless.)