So quite a few years ago, AT&T had this thing called 00 info. The whole idea was that you would pick up a landline phone and dial 00 and get a listing anywhere in the US. We had a particular caller that was always hassling the girls on the overnight shift. I wanted to get that call just so I could fuck with him and one night, it was finally my turn. P is pervert and M is me.

M – AT&T 00 info. This is xx. How may I help you? P – Yes. I need a number for a video store. M – Yes sir. What city and state? P – Atlanta, GA M – Okay sir… (At this point he interrupts me.) P – I’ve been setting up a shoe store in Atlanta and I don’t know anyone around here. Are you in Atlanta? M – No sir, but I am in GA. Now about those listings…(interrupts again) P – What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?

At this point I knew who I had on the line and I stood up so others could gather around and listen.

M – I’m not wearing any shoes sir. P – (breathing harder) You’re not? M – No sir. P – Are you wearing stockings? M – No sir.

You could hear him moan a bit.

P – Socks? M – No sir.

Now he’s moaning and breathing hard.

P – You mean you’re barefoot right now? M – No sir. Both of my legs have been amputated from the knee down.

He hung up then and we all had a great laugh. As far as I know, he never called back.

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Genderal neutral names and old men

Just get an Obamaphone, please