I work in the billing department. Specifically for businesses looking to be paid for services provided to our mutual customers, so instead of “YOU TOOK MY MONEY!!”, I get “YOU DIDN’T PAY ME MY MONEY!!”
Me: (Company), this is sh605, how can I help you?
Lazy Chick: Yes, this is account 66666, and I need you to tell me which bank account you are using to deposit my payments. I called last week to change it and I want to make sure it was done.
Me: I apologise, I am not allowed to tell you the bank account number we have on file as I have no way to verify your identity-
LC: Well then how am I supposed to know you’ve got it right??
Me: Ma’am, I’m sure you don’t want such sensitive information given out to anyone who calls and asks for it, right? Tell you what, if you give me the last 4 numbers of what it should be, I’ll tell you if that matches with what I have.
LC: UGH, I don’t know that. I don’t have a statement on me.
Me: Then I’m sorry but I cannot help you with this any further. Did you have any other questions?
LC: HOLD ON!! papers shuffling
LC: It’s 1234!
Me: Got it, looks like that matches up. Looks like we’re all set!
LC: So it’s going into the new account?
Me: That’s what it looks like, we’ve already made a couple of payments that have gone through successfully.
LC: So it’s going into the account ending in 1234?
Me: It should be, that’s the info I have in front of me.
LC: I’m not looking for SHOULD BE. I need assurances that I was paid.
Me: I assure you the information you have given me matches the paperwork we received, and that no payments have been returned to us. To be 100% sure, we’d need you to check your account and confirm the money is being deposited.
LC: I can’t log in right now!
Me: Sorry to hear that. I’d call your bank for some help with that and call us back if you check your account and find you aren’t receiving the deposits.
LC: I want to talk to someone who can promise me I’m being paid or I’ll cancel my account!!
Me: No one here is going to promise that. Check your account once you can get logged in and call us if there is a problem.
LC: I won’t waste my time on hold again, I want to know NOW!!
Me: You’re yelling at me for something that you’re not even sure is a problem yet. The best I can tell you is that YES, the last four of the account match what numbers you gave me, and that the payments left our account and were sent to the one we have on file successfully. I believe you have been paid, but no one here can see the transactions on your statement. Why would you just take our word for it and not check your account?
LC: UUUGGHH!!! (slams phone down)
Jesus, woman, just check the damn account! In all of that time you could have reset your password and had all the damn proof in the world we sent your damn money.