Liar liar pants on fire

Sooo I had a lovely charmer today. I’m me, they can be D for dickhead.

Me: Welcome to blah you are speaking with blah, how can I help?

D: I sent in a refund form for blah ages ago to you people and I haven’t heard back what’s going on!!!!

Me: ok, I can look into that – can I have your account number please?

D: why the fuck do I have to give you that??

Me: (it is late, can’t be bothered with the shitfit he will throw if i pull him up on swearing) um You have called blah blah and I need that information to look for your request…

D: urrgh I don’t know it

Me: (thinking fuck here we go) Asked for his name and DOB

Me: Ok, it looks like you are registered for blah blah blah security access so I will try this for you to see if it is your account I have (spoiler alert – he didn’t pass)

Me: ok, I need to get some more details to verify that I have the right account.

Proceeded to ask him a couple of simple questions he should be able to answer about himself. Lord you would have thought i asked him to pull his balls out through his butt the amount of stress in his voice. Still no deal on verification.

Me: ok i still need to find some more info-

D: fuck woman why do I have to do this? (Helllllllll nooooo buddy)

Me: explained what I already told him about verifying

D: I don’t ever do this when I ring!!!!!

Me: (want a shovel for that pile of bullshit?) Sir, I can assure you that if we are accessing or locating an account, you have to provide this information so we know we have the right person..


Me: sir, as per blah blah law/rule-


Me: (keeping it as calm and polite as i can whilst expressing my profound disdain and disbelief) I can promise you sir they will advise the same as I am and you will still have to go through verification.

D: No I WON’T!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!

Me: (hahaha righto buddy) Hold please.

Dickhead then hung up before I could even transfer him. He hadn’t sent the form in anyway 🤣🤣

submitted by /u/wanderernz
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Because it’s happened more times than I can count

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