I work in a call centre for roads and traffic. The calls I usually take are regarding people’s cars and the rules of the roads, so this one was pretty weird.
Customer: “Hi, I’m not sure who I even need to speak to about this, but I have just seen something very shocking and horrible. “
Me: “Okay…what’s happened?”
Customer: “I am the owner of a retail store and currently there are road repairs taking place right out the front of my shop. One of your employees has had an accident and I’m extremely shaken by it and I don’t know what to do.”
Me: “Have you called the police or ambulance? Is he alright?”
Customer: “No… when I mean accident, I mean he has literally taken a shit right outside the shop door and has also left a sandwich sitting right next to it. He was nice enough to provide his own toilet paper though.”