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My first nutcase

I’ve been working at a big bank from the US and Canada for about 8 months now. Usually I just get the run-of-the-mill good and bad customers. But yesterday I got a complete nutcase.

M= me N = nutcase

M – (opening) N- (generic problem) M- ok sir can I have your social security number? N-112223334 (but super fast so I couldn’t catch it) M- im sorry sir, I didn’t get that. Can you please repeat it again slower so I can get you pulled up today? N- my phone has been hacked! I don’t want them getting my social security number! If they get it, I’m going to sue your company!! M-… M- I definitely understand your concern but unfortunately I do need your social in order to help you today. N- (exasperated sigh) fine, it’s 1…1…2…(Etc) M- thank you so much for that 🙂 now you stated you wanted to fix (generic issue) and i have done that now. Is there anything else I can do for you? N- yeah now that you mentioned it…

This guy starts going off about how they kicked my bank out of their little town because a while back we refused to refinance the homes in the town when our bank bought the one previously there. I checked when his account was created and yup, right after the housing crash of 2008. He never throughout the call specified who “they” are so I like to imagine the they who kicked my bank out is the same they that hacked his phone.

But the part that really got me is as follows :

N- (taxes taxes big government complaining blah blah) but you know what the worst part is? It’s that IRS. I’m telling you they are all crooks… Lemme tell you something… (His voice gets quiet and low) the IRS all went down to the Bahamas a few years back. Big company retreat, everyone was invited. And you know what they did with your tax dollars? (Voice is barely a whisper now) they had an orgy. A sex orgy.

At this point he continues to ramble and rave and I put him on mute and lose my shit. I haven’t laughed so hard in months.

It was still 10 minutes before he finally hung up, but he will always have a special place in my heart as my first nutcase.

submitted by /u/harmsky
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Mr. Twelve – Long and some profanity

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