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Mr. Twelve – Long and some profanity

I’m finally ready to share my most traumatic call and I’m hoping it will help me sort of cleanse it from my psyche.

I worked for a major international retailer and handled a variety of functions relating to cardholder accounts as well as online orders. It was my first week on the floor and was still acclimating to CC life. So I get a call from one of our off-shore reps and can tell right off the bat something is wrong. Please note that her accent was MINIMAL but there’s occasionally those customers who lose their minds over the thought of “foreigners” handling their order.

She gives me the pertinent information related to the order and informs me he’s requested a US based rep. No big deal so far. I apologize to her and she sounded like she was about to cry. Red flag. I will be me and we’ll call this fellow POS.

Me: Thank for calling Big Retailer, this is raging alpaca. May I have your first and last name?

POS: (Screaming) WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

Me: (A little shaken) I’m based out of US, sir.

POS: I SAID WHERE?

Me: Our center is based out of Arizona, sir.

POS: I DON’T WANT THOSE DAMN EXPLETIVES HANDLING MY ORDERS! ARE YOU AMERICAN?

I’m a little stunned and exasperated because I A) have no accent and B) have already assured him of such, as much as I hated to.

He then calms SIGNIFICANTLY nut remains really edgy throughout. I go through the verification steps, see that the order was cancelled due to his failure to verify the order. Unfortunately, I was unable to replace it for him because he was using Paypal and their security setup wouldn’t allow us to. It wasn’t a large order, maybe around $100 in men’s clothing but all the items were still in stock.

Me: I’m sorry, Mr. POS, I’m unfortunately unable to replace this order due to Paypal’s security proto-

POS: WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T REPLACE IT? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING DUMB, RAGING ALPACA? HUH?!

Me: (shocked) I’m so sorry, sir. I would like to send you a promotional code for the inconvenience if you would still like-

POS: YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD LIKE? I’D LIKE YOU TO TAKE A LARGE OBKECT AND FUCKING SLAM INTO YOUR HEAD! JUST SLAM INTO YOUR HEAD UNTIL YOUR USELESS BRAINS COME OUT!

I was starting to cry at this point and was incredibly embarrassed. I was in shock and still new and no one, before or since, has spoken to me like that. Why didn’t I just disconnect, as others do when the call becomes abusive? Because this particular company has a policy of termination if you disconnect on a customer, any customer regardless of what they say.

Me: Sir, I can longer assist you further if you keep speaking to me using such language.

POS: YOU WORTHLESS WHORE. WHY DON’T YOU LET 12 GUYS FUCK YOU IN THE ADS AT THE SAME TIME. HUH?! I BET YOU’D LIKE THAT! YEAH! 12 GUYS FUCK YOU IN THE ADS AND LET THE JIZZ RUN OUT!

I can’t hide the fact I’m crying anymore and people are staring. One of the specialists comes over and I hit the mute button like a kung fu master. I explain the situation and they advise I attempt the “broken record” routine. I do this until I reach my end point and practically hyperventilating. I cut him off and put him on hold.

The call should have escalated to a specialist but they point blank refused it and sent me to the next in command. I blubber my way thru an explanation, she puts me on hold and speaks to a manager. This is a big deal at that center. She comes back and resignedly takes the call. I logged off that phone as soon as the call ended.

I actually managed to stay there for a year before I’d had enough. I actually became a specialist before I noped the heck out. Sorry for the length but I had to share this as a therapy of sorts. I realize no job is worth that and I’m trying to finish my degree this year. I hope Mr. Twelve, as he came to be known, gets help because I’m pretty sure homie will cut someone without treatment.

submitted by /u/TheRagingAlpaca
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Good Story!

My first nutcase