So I had this call around the end of my day today, and I knew immediately he was going to be a problem. It’s long and weird, so bear with me….
So no one’s confused, I work at a 3rd party billing company. It’s not like most call centers, it’s small and while I can’t be flat out rude, I can get a little sassy! I am not your buddy, I am here to tell you what you can and cannot do re: billing our company. Of course, the day is better when everyone is nice, so I do make an effort to be pleasant. However calling in and acting like this guy will not get you far in my department.
Me: (Company), this is sh605. How can I help you?
Grumpy Guy (GG): I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR TEN MINUTES.
We both sat there in silence for a moment. I waited for him to continue, and he waited for me to acknowledge this travesty… Once I realized what he wanted I spoke again.
Me: Yeah, we have a lot of calls coming in right now. What can I do for you today?
GG: I am calling from account 12345, I need someone to fax me a copy of our mutual client’s membership card, or I need their personal phone number to reach them.
This is a MAJOR no-no.
Me: I’m sorry sir. Those cards are tied to banking information. That’s like if someone asked me to fax them a copy of your credit card. I also cannot give out personal information on anyone. If you are needing this to bill for someone, if you can tell me the name of the company they work for I can get you to their rep so you can discuss other options to get paid for this.
GG: That’s NOT going to help me. You people make this process as difficult as possible just to try and scam an honest person! You have all the information and it’s on YOU to make sure I am paid!
Me: It is on your business to collect this information when the client uses your services, per your contract with us. It is not our fault you neglected to get this card number or even an active phone number, and it is not our responsibility to make sure you are paid. It is your responsibility to read your contract, understand our billing policies, and make sure these policies are followed so that we can pay you what you are owed.
GG: You’re not being very helpful!!!
Me: I’m being as helpful as I can with the information you are providing me.
GG: WHAT IS YOUR ID NUMBER?!
Me: Our employees don’t have ID numbers.
GG: I WANT YOUR SUPERVISOR!
Me: They’re away from their desk, I can direct you to their voicemail.
Me: Then what else can I help you with, sir?
GG: Can you pull up the fax I sent you last night?!
Me: What’s your account number?
GG: UGH. AGAIN???
Me: Sorry, yeah.
GG: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!
Me: Ok. I have a fax here from last night.
GG: And does it not have his name?! And my account number?!
Me: Yes. That’s not enough, though. You can give me any name and I can pull up 5-6 active clients, we need this number to identify them. You don’t even have an address for them, you just put ours down. This is just a name, an amount, and your letterhead saying he owes. Do you know what company he works for?
GG: NO! ALL THEY TELL US IS TO BILL YOU! SO WE PUT YOUR INFORMATION!
Me: You should still be collecting their information for situations like the one we’re in now.
GG: Is this a recorded line???
GG: All I have is this ID number!!!
Me: Can you give it to me?
Success! Something I can use!
Me: Alright! That’s something! This at least gives us some info we can use to bill. If you re-fax your invoice with this number, we can pay you.
GG: Well, I just GAVE you the number, and you have the fax.
Me: Yes sir, but I do not work in the department responsible for entering this information. I can do nothing with this information. Basically, at this point you have two options. You can wait to see if they will accept this fax, which I do not recommend, or you can re-fax your invoice with this number.
GG: I need your supervisor, because you are COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT AND INEFFICIENT!! How do I identify you to your boss!
Me: Again, they are not here right now, I will transfer you to their voicemail. All you have to do is give my name, I am the only sh605 here.
GG: NO! NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I NEED YOUR SUPERVISOR’S SUPERVISOR! I NEED SOMEONE ABOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!
Me: That person cannot be called directly. I can give them your information and they will call you tomorrow.
GG: NO!! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!
Me: No one is ignoring you. My supervisor will be back soon please allow me to transfer you to them so your complaints can be heard as soon as possible.
GG: IF I GET TO A VOICEMAIL BOX, YOU HAD BETTER PICK BACK UP! I WILL NOT BE DUMPED INTO VOICEMAIL!
Me: You want me to pick up my supervisor’s phone and sit at her desk and continue this conversation?
GG: incoherent screeching
Me: Transfer to voicemail
What a twat.