Another tale from my telecoms company.
C: Drunk Customer
Me: Thanks for calling, this is u/Majahzi, can I have your name please?
C: Do you know a guy named Dwayne?
Me: Um… no.
C: … Are you sure?
Me: Yeah I would know if I know a Dwayne.
I am thinking that he may have recognized my unique name and heard about me from school or maybe we lived in the same town.
Me: Where would I know him from?
C: He works there. Are you lying to me?
My company has a dozen direct call centers and maybe a dozen or so indirect contractor call centers in America. I doubt that Dwayne works with me.
Checked it and the Dwayne works in another state and noted that the customer became belligerent and hung up on him about 5 minutes ago.
Me: Well it sounds like you and Dwayne didn’t have a pleasant interaction. What can I do to fix that?
He was trying to use a mobile hotspot on our unlimited data plan for his home internet, which it isn’t really built for. I explain this to him and he’s mad about it, but understands.
He honestly just misunderstood what Dwayne was saying about his data plan and I cleared it up for him. He started talking to his friend in the background and this is when I realize he was drunk. Apparently one of them went to jail recently and they were joking about it.
C: Alright I get it. I want that Dwayne guy fired.
Me: I am sending his supervisor a strongly worded email right now. Is there anything else I can help with?
C: Nah man you’ve been awesome. Oh, can I get a credit for all my troubles?
Me: Well a misunderstanding isn’t normally something we credit for, sorry.
C: What if I say you sexually harassed me?
Me: Ummmm but I haven’t.
C: Really? Because it sounded like you said you wanna suck my dick!
Me: Whoahhhh well I’m gonna hang up now
C: Oh shit
I’m a guy