You sent me an email, don’t you have my account?

I work in a call center for one of the fancy car concierge services. ~99 out of 100 customers are at least polite, so I’m pretty sure I have a better job than many here. But occasionally we do get calls memorable enough to be worth a tale. Today had one such caller.

$me: o/
$po: pissed off guy

me: “Hello and thanks for calling into [service], my name is $me, how can i help you?”
$po: audibly irritated “You can tell me why my remote start didn’t work!”
$me: “I’ll do what I can sir, can I start by getting your first and last name?”
$po: “I want to know why you people took my money and my remote start won’t work!”
$me: “I understand that can be really frustrating. I want to pull up your info in our system so I can help you, so can I start with your first and last name?”

$po: begrudgingly gives me his name and a callback number
$me: “Great! In order to see what’s going on, I’ll need to pull up your account. What’s the email on your account?”
$po: “You sent me an email, I don’t see why you don’t have my account pulled up?”
$me: “I didn’t personally send you that email, that’s why I need it. Once I get that, I’ll be able to look things over for you.”
$po: gives email and auth info so I can get in
$me: “Ok thank you for that info. I’m looking over your account now.”

$me: “Unfortunately our system won’t directly tell me why, but we want to get this working for you. Do you have access to your vehicle and about 5-10 minutes to try some quick troubleshooting steps?”
$po: “Yeah its in my driveway …you want me to go out to it?”
$me: “Correct, yes please.” (I respond this way for clarity; it reduces people misunderstanding answers to ambiguous questions and is harder to mix up for other words)
$po: “You still haven’t told me why you didn’t start my car yet! You took my money and can’t even fix it, i want to speak to a supervisor!”
$me: “Sir, if you’d calm down and let me help you for five minutes, tops, we could get this taken care of. Either its a simple issue I can help you fix easily or it’s something that may take some time and in that case no button I could press on my end could fix it. I very much would like to help you but I did not personally ‘take your money’ and we cannot magically wand-wave away the problem, nor are we withholding our service for shits and giggles.”

$me: is done with this “Sure, one second while I see if one’s available.”
$me: transfers to supervisor

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Another Saturday, another mental patient

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