Me: thanks for calling blah my name is me May I have your full name please? Caller (sounds like woman’s voice): Mr. Weirdo Me: thanks Ms. (ahem) excuse me I mean Mr. F’N Weirdo. How may I help you today? Caller: yea I just got my statement and it’s on four pages not all on one page. Me: oh ok. So you need it all on one page? Caller: yea Me: well you could go online and print it out then you can change the settings so it prints on one page. Caller: no because I need it on paper and I want the original that’s mailed to me. Can you send it to me with everything on one page? Me: unfortunately Mr. Weirdo I can’t change the number of pages on your statement, that’s how they are printed. Caller: well transfer me to the department who can Me: no one here in any department can change the number of pages. Also, the statement has to have all the required information and formatted according to government regulations we must follow. Caller: well transfer me to someone who can change it Me: there is no one here in any department who can change this. Caller: so you’re saying I have to go to the government and have them change this? Me: well you could try that sir but I don’t think it will get you anywhere. This is just how our statements are printed and we can’t alter that Caller: well transfer me to your corporate office Me: this is the corporate office Mr. weirdo. Is there anything else I can help you with today? Caller: well transfer me to your president Me: I apologize mr. Weirdo there is nothing we can do. Anything else I can help you with aside from this? Caller: ( starts screaming) well get me a supervisor!!!! Me: ok one moment (puts on hold for 2 minutes and stares off into space) Me. hello mr. Weirdo? Caller: yes Me: thanks for holding. Yes I checked with my supervisor and there is nothing we can do to change the number of pages for your statement Caller: well transfer me to someone who can Me: once again sir I’m very sorry no one here can change this no matter who you talk to. Caller hangs up Me: ( mutes phone) WHAT A F’N WEIRDO!!!! Like why does this matter? Are you freaking serious???