I’m not Donna Doodle

So I’ve wanted to share this story for a while, because I think it’s hilarious, but I wasn’t sure what to change this woman’s name to; it’s part of what makes it so funny to me! (Don’t judge, the way it sounds just tickles me and she said it maybe a thousand times :p) So I decided to make it sound as close to her name as possible, I’ll call her Donna Doodle. She is not the person who called me, however.

Me: How can I help you?

Caller: I’m calling because every time I log in to the website, it says my name is Donna Doodle. I’m not Donna Doodle!

(Odd to me, our website is for businesses and not any one individual, so there are no names that would be immediately displayed other then the business name.)

Me: Ok, let me access your account so I can see your website the way it appears to you so I can see what’s going on.

C: It’s been going on since I took over as manager, Donna Doodle is the old manager. I shouldn’t have to look at her name every time I log in!

Me: I understand, ma’am. Let me look at the contact information we have listed for you and the current manager’s name on file.

C: I already called and let you people know! I’ve called twice to get it through to you that I’m not Donna Doodle!!

Me: I apologize for that, I do want to fix this for you today so you won’t have to call again, I know that can get really frustrating. None of the contact or manager information says this name, so it appears at least on our end we have the correct information. Where exactly are you seeing this?

C: Right here in front of my face! Donna Doodle!

Me: Yes, but can you be a little more specific? Right hand side, left side? Towards the top or the bottom? Do you see where it says [business name] on the left?

C: All I see is DONNA. DOODLE.

I didn’t even care that she was being bitchy at this point. I was starting to smile a little bit and fighting the urge to laugh. If it was a normal name I’d be annoyed but the way she kept saying this goofy name all pissed off was really silly.

Me: Hmm, that’s really strange…. I’ve never heard of this before. Do you know how to take a screenshot?

C: A what?

Me: A screenshot, like a picture of your computer screen the way it is now so I can look at exactly what you’re seeing since my computer doesn’t show that name anywhere.

C: Why should I have to do anything? It’s your job to fix this! I’m sick of looking at Donna Doodle and having to clear it out EVERY SINGLE DAY before I can do anything! I’m going to call every day I see Donna Doodle until I get through to SOMEONE who knows what they’re doing and isn’t so lazy they’d ask me to do their job for them!

Me: (biting my lip so I don’t laugh) Ma’am, I – wait, did you just say clear it out? Clear it out of where?

C: Like I TOLD YOU, I can’t do anything on your stupid site until I clear Donna Doodle out so I can put in MY NAME and password! This isn’t that hard to understand!

Me: So, when you load the site it automatically fills the space for your username and password?

C: Yes!!

Me: Ma’am, that’s called autofill and is a setting on your browser. You need to delete any saved usernames and passwords on your computer to stop that. It’s not very secure to have passwords saved on a shared computer, anyway, this website does have sensitive billing information.

C: …How do I do that?

So, I showed her how to clear out her browser, and fought every cell in my body from ending the call saying, “Have a nice day, Donna!”

….It’s not to late to change the manager’s name on file, though.

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