Best. Boss. Ever.

Me: Thank you for calling (pink phone company), my name is thankyoumeow. May I ask who I’m speaking with?

Angry Customer: Yeah, my name is customer.

M: OK, cool and just for verification purposes –

AC: What did you just say to me?

M: Um… I need the last four of your social security number?

AC: Before that. Right after I told you my name.

M: ….Cool?

AC: Cool. Cool? COOL?! WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED THAT ‘COOL’ IS VIEWED AS PROFESSIONAL BANTER? IS IT ‘COOL’ TO TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS WITH SUCH DISRESPECT?! (She just keeps going off, and it’s about this time that I realize my boss was preparing to score my call as he’s bent over his desk gasping for air from laughing so hard. Conveniently, AC can hear him through my mic and thinks it’s me.) ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME NOW?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME HOW DO YOU EVEN HAVE A JOB IN THE CUSTOMER SERVICE INDUSTRY I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Boss: (Still giggling slightly) Just fucking transfer her, don’t even bother with pushback. Go into coaching and come plug in. (I aux myself into coaching before I complete the transfer and hardwire my headset into his phone) Hello, yes Mrs. Customer? My name is Boss, I understand you wanted to speak with me?

AC: Yes. Your representative was so rude I just couldn’t even believe it and had to tell their manager.

B: Oh? And how was she rude?

AC: She used foul, unprofessional language and LAUGHED at me after! Can you believe that?!

B: Actually, coming from thankyoumeow I can’t. She is one of the most personable representatives I have on my team, so I have a very hard time believing she was rude to you. Furthermore, I was preparing to do a live quality review of her next call, and you just so happened to be that call!

AC: I – Um – Well she –

B: That being said, it was actually you that I heard using derogatory language and screaming at my employee, Mrs. Customer.

AC: crickets

B: Alright! So is there anything else I can assist you with?

AC: (mumbles out) I guess not.

B: Okay then. Cool. You have a great day.

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I caused a customer to get divorced, and I’m not even mad.

People were crying, my partner was biting his knuckle, and I was having the time of my life