Most memorable customer

So years ago I worked in a tech support call centre, for a well known alarm company, in Manchester, England. Now half the time it was easy calls with friendly people who wanted to change something on their alarm system, like their access code or such. The other half was the most irate and angry customers known to man, which in all honesty for the most part, I had no problem with. Yes it was shitty being called all the names under the sun, but when someone’s alarm is going off at 2am and they can’t turn it off, well I’d be pissed too.

However, I’ll never forget one customer exchange. And it wasn’t because they were angry, far from it. She was very calm. She was also very posh. I’m talking aristocracy, huge home in the countryside, very well-to-do. Also she lived in the South, Home Counties area. For those not familiar with England, I’m in Manchester in the North.

So after not being able to help over the phone, and her requiring an engineer visit (its late at night now), the end of the call goes like this-

Me: Ok Ma’am (she insisted), I’ve turned your alarm off, but due to the nature of the fault it will require an engineer visit to your home, unfortunately it’s not something I can fix over the phone. I can send an emergency call out tonight, or if you prefer I can book it for the morning.

Her: Very well, send someone in the morning. Where are you located?

Me: I’m in Manchester, but the engineer will be local to your area.

Her: I see. Please don’t tell any of your Northern friends that my alarm system is off.

Me: ……….I’m sorry?

Also me: *Frantically pressing mute and waving my arms telling my coworkers to get over here.

Her: I would be grateful if you didn’t tell your friends that my house is not alarmed.

Me: Oh don’t worry, I won’t. Bye, thanks for calling etc.

I can’t even remember exactly how I ended the call, I was just shocked. But In hindsight I wish I would have played along. Tell her not to worry, my friends only steal cars. Or they only do armoured car jobs, or rob banks.

As shitty as the job was, I miss it sometimes.