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The many tales of a bank call center

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Ive been working at a call center for one of my banks in my country for many years and the different type of baffling interactions are shocking!
I did Retail for years and always thought face to face customer service was worse, nope definately call centers. Some of the scenarios I get on a weekly basis.

M – Me
C – Customer
F – Family Member
P – Partner

Scenerio 1:
M – Thanks for calling (name of bank) youre speaking to *name* can I please start with your FIRST name?
C – *proceeds to read and spell out their entire name* (making the call longer when were measure on minutes)

Scenario 2:
M – *standard call opening message* How can I assist?
F – Yes Hi Im calling on behalf of my parent theyre elderly and theyre right here, but they have an issue on their account they need fixed so can you help them?
M – Absolutely can look to assist, I do have to advise that id need to verify them with specific security questions, now also YOU CANNOT ASSIST THEM WITH ANSWERING THESE, but if they cannot do this or its too hard, our branches can definately assist you both
F – Thats fine theyre able to answer anything go ahead
*customers gets on the phone*
Scenario 2A:
C – *barely can speak as theyre too old and cannot hear a thing*
Cant answer simple questions like their name so I have to fail them.
F – whats going on? I told you they were elderly WHY cant you assist them we cant go branch! *proceeds to curse me out

Scenario 2B:
Customer gets on phone
M – proceeds to ask the questions
Family member whispering every bloody answer to them
Same thing, fail them refer branch and get cursed out for not helping elderly

Scenario 3:
C – Yes im calling about a transaction I need to dispute due to *insert reason here*
M – Yes can definately help, we can file one today timeframe will be approx X days ill provide u a ref would you like to proceed.
C – YES
M – Ok lets verify
*proceeds with verification*
M – Ok ill start on your dispute process
C – Ive already lodged one yesterday
M – …..
C – I want to know whats happening when do I get my money back
M – … thinking WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE RIGHT NOW??

So many bloody scenarios do my freaking head!!

People complaining over the wait times calling for a balance (usually hardly anything in it) but specifically get angry when you suggest self serve options like Phone or Internet Banking for balances

Couples of various ages calling through together and getting upset they cant answer for their partners

Couples calling and one coaching the other what to say and ask like theyre a child.

People not speaking clear, mumbling and getting fustrated that we cant understand them

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What do you think?

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